Surreal Baldwin portrayal replaces surreal president at WHCD


EMMA PATTERSON

Staff Lampoonist

 

He’s back, folks!

Alec Baldwin, the actor most notably known for his surreal portrayal of Donald Trump on “Saturday Night Live” (among other roles, but let’s be real, this is his best), is slated to replace Trump at the head of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

Graphic by Ryan Jacobson/ Special to the leader

In yet-another nausea-inducing tweet, Trump announced how instead of attempting to salvage his dysfunctional relationship with the press, he would simply bail on the annual Correspondents’ Dinner entirely. It has been debated whether or not he has a better reason than Ronald Reagan, who skipped the dinner during his presidency because he was recovering from an assassination attempt.

“I have better things to do, amazing things,” Trump tweeted from his toilet at 3:42 a.m. “The best things. So many things to do.”

While Trump desperately tried to form a sentence, Baldwin graciously stepped up to the plate.

“These people actually think I’m Donald Trump,” the actor said in an interview with the Lampoon. “At first, it freaked me out. I had the most random people coming up to me, asking me to sign their guns and condiments.” When he was approached about covering for Trump at the dinner, however, Baldwin knew what he had to do.

“The people are expecting to see the president, so that’s who they’re going to get,” he said mysteriously.

The public response to Baldwin’s announcement has been generally positive among the seriously misguided.

“I love that Trump guy,” one man wrote on Facebook. His profile picture was obscured by a graying beard with an Oreo clinging to it for dear life. “I watch him every Saturday night on my TV. The man just gets me. He was real funny in ‘Pearl Harbor’ too. Who knew Trump could act?”

One woman’s post went moderately viral thanks to the part of Facebook that makes average people want to stick to Twitter: “I’m BEYOND thrilled that he’s going to be at this dinner thing. I was SO DEPRESSED that he wasn’t going to do it. I swear, it took FIVE MAIDS to get me up in the morning. FIVE. But now that he’s back in business, I am, too!”

Before he left, we asked Baldwin if he would give us a sneak-peek of what to expect at the Correspondents’ Dinner.

“Like I said, I’m going full-out. Expect wigs, a fake tan, a laser show, buckets of vanilla ice cream, a screening of ‘Home Alone 2: Lost in New York,’ a giant inflatable Cheeto, tiny finger food, various members of the press flying around on actual magic carpets while getting back rubs … almost everyone is going to love it,” he said, smiling smugly. “Of course, if anyone feels left out, then maybe they shouldn’t have skipped it in the first place!”

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