ABIGAIL JACOBSON
Asst. News Editor
Content Warning: slurs, sexual comments, mentions of sexual assault, threats of violence, self-harm, suicide
I grew up playing video games with my father and brother. My sisters would join in too, and it was some of the best times I’ve had with them.
It helped me gain a love for video games.
But, as I got older and more interested in newer and more popular video games, that all changed.
Especially when being a woman.
According to Statista, in 2023, women made up about 46% of video gamers in the United States.
I can say very confidently that a majority of that percent of women have probably experienced derogatory statements.
“Fat.” “Whore.” “Slut.” “F-slur.” “Good girl.” Literally ew to that last one. Any derogatory statement you could think of, I’ve been called in a video game.
I’ve been told lots of other things as well, such as “Go make me a sandwich,” “You would look better on your knees” and “You should slit your wrists and kill yourself.”
Not only do some players say these types of things, but they also make sexual references to other players who they find out are women.
I’ve heard things like, “You’re so good at this baby, what else are you good at?” to the extreme of, “I’m going to rape you,” and sometimes someone just saying my name and then moaning or making sexual noises.
Literally what the fuck.
I’ve also been told that since I’m a girl, I’m terrible at video games. But when I prove them wrong, I get told “Oh, well your boyfriend is playing for you.”
No. I’m just better than you.
You know what’s my favorite thing I’m told a shit ton of times? “You’re good for a girl.”
No. I’m just that good at the game. Sounds like a skill issue on your level my guy.
I know I’m not the only woman out there who has experienced these types of statements in video games.
So, I decided to make a survey. The following responses are printed exactly as they appeared in the results.
First, 83.3% of respondents said they have experienced rude behavior, such as cyberbullying or name-calling, in the video game community because of their gender.
“I’ve definitely been called female-descriptive derogatory terms (c*nt, bitch, etc.) numerous times, over literally nothing, and completely unprovoked,” Jaded, the gamertag of one respondent said.
Another respondent included statements that they have experienced but more on sexual terms.
“When they realize I am a female they would say my name over and over again annoyingly, say I “suck c*ck,” call me the f-word slur and say I like “sucking d*cks,” NotoriousJCM said.
I asked the question in my survey, “What would you say to those who are afraid of joining the video game community because of what they have heard about the community?”
“I completely understand the fear; there are negative, hateful people everywhere. But they don’t represent us or make up the majority,” Jaded said.
“The best part about the video game community is that you can find communities within it and surround yourself with the good people.”
All of the answers and feedback I received — some good and some bad — made me feel worse.
Why is it that because of my gender, I am being disregarded, made fun of and receiving all of this hate?
The community I grew up in with my family has changed so much, it’s honestly depressing.
The older I got, the more I would hear these types of things.
If I had to tell 10-year-old Abigail that this is what she will experience years later, I don’t think I could. I wouldn’t want to break her heart.
I took out a book from the library titled “Gamer Girls: 25 Women Who Built the Video Game Industry” by Mary Kenney. This book gave me the strength again to not hate myself because of my gender.
Seeing all these beautiful and powerful women who helped build up the video game industry, my heart felt so full.
I related so much to one sentence in this book. “…it seemed that if you weren’t a white, cis, able-bodied man, you weren’t allowed to be part of games — either as a developer or player.”
With all of the hatred I have seen being pushed onto myself and other women because of our gender, it is just unacceptable.
I should be able to play whatever video game I want without worrying that someone is going to tell me that they hope I get raped.
The hatred towards women in the video game community is completely unacceptable. We shouldn’t have to experience this type of hatred just because we are women.
We should be able to play video games and have fun rather than worrying about when we will hear disgusting and derogatory statements.
We, as women, should be able to experience anything and everything we want to in life.
For me, all I want is a positive video game community.
But from the looks of it, that’s not happening any sooner.
I leave you with this: You have the power to do whatever you want. You are beautiful, kind, smart, compassionate and everything else. You are a woman, and you should be proud.