JAY BYRON
Guest Scallywag
We ask hard-hitting questions here at The Scallion.
One question we have been mulling over in our head since the dawn of time is: “Who is the snowflake?”
We realize, though, that this may be too deep and difficult of a question to be asking in general. So, here’s a description of who a snowflake is.
A man on Twitter who goes by the display name of “Jerry” and the username “JerryTrump4Ever” has started a ruckus amongst Twitter users.
A certain leftist had posted a tweet that said, “If you support Trump, you are a racist.”
Jerry responded, clearly flabbergasted at the statement. Absolutely appalled. Stumped. “I’m no racist. I just like Trump. I think he’s cool and he likes everyone, even white supremacists. And black people… I think.”
With that, he caused the greatest political uproar on this leftist’s Twitter account.
People from all over replied with a variety of information. Many responded with clarifications on what Trump’s character is like, though some had wacky insults from “Boo, you smell like cheese,” to “Haha funny man go waaah.”
One was just a graphic image of Trump and Pence smooching! Unbelievable content!
On his own Twitter account, Jerry had posted many rants and comments, all of which were vaguely referring to those who replied to him.
“What the heck is up with these libtards? They’re all acting like sheeple right now with the way they’re repeating each other. They definitely aren’t making valid points at all! Fake news!”
Sheeple. Ah, yes, sheeple. Jerry always seemed to call them sheep when they all made similar conclusions. Obviously, they were all copying each other and had no thoughts for themselves ever, he thought as he watched Fox News.
Many of these so-called “libtards” found these tweets and made fun of them as well, saying things like, “Oh poopie doopie, you’re upset?”
One reply, though, caught him quite off guard.
“You’re racist,” it said. “Do you know what white supremacists are?”
Jerry was thrown for a loop and didn’t respond until two days later. He was absolutely shaken by this question, for it had a lot of depth in it, apparently.
Everything was on the line because of this question. He could be seen as a white supremacist—not like it’s bad!!!! He could be seen as a… bad man!
He had conjured something up during his inactive period, though. “Yeah, they’re in fun clubs. You guys are so mean! So much for the tolerant left!”
Got ‘em! He knew he got ‘em. They’re really thrown for a loop now, he thought. All this work they put into being nice? Down the drain! I am no racist.
In celebration, he took his mask, wearing it under his nose, ordered a confederate flag from Amazon and put it in his yard as soon as he got it.
That’ll show ‘em not to mess with a real proud American white man.
“White pride,” he whispered, a teardrop rolling down his face. Solidifying his own statement, he repeated, “White pride.”