MATTHEW BAUM
Staff Scallywag
Before I begin, I have to preface this article with the fact that everything I’m about to say is true. There is nothing in this article that has been fabricated or exaggerated in any way, and I am living in Hell.
I am an acting major. It’s a dream come true. I get to practice my craft and make a living out of the thing I love doing most in the world. The problem is, I have to learn from home, which is quite the hurdle.
Each morning, I wake up, turn on my side, and see my laptop waiting patiently to be plugged in and powered on. Then, I get up, walk to the foot of my bed and place my laptop onto three plastic bins that are full of the stuff I had in my dorm room. That’s my work station. I have a blank wall behind me for Zoom sessions that happen once a week with all of my Acting Studio classmates, and if I want to sit down throughout the day, I drop one of the bins off the stack and work from the edge of my bed.
I have hardly any reason to leave my room, but when I do, it’s only to use the bathroom or grab a bite to eat. Three days a week, when I come downstairs, my brother is hard at work in the office and my father sits at my table and answers conference calls from the comfort of his own home. They often give me a little nod when I pass, acknowledging that it’s weird that I’m there. Their faces say, “Oh, yeah, Matt’s home. If he says one more thing about Uta Hagen’s Nine Questions, I’m going to strangle him.”
My productivity has plummeted. The beauty of being at school was I never made it too homey. Sure, I was comfortable, but I always had the feeling that the space I was in wasn’t mine. Nowadays, I can sleep in with next to no consequence, and I’ve got no roommate to be aware of when I come into my room. This much freedom is stifling. I have to structure my own schedule, which is one of the core things that being at college was supposed to teach me to do. On campus, I have a community all focused on the same task — getting their degree. Now, I have my family, which is great, but I’m facing my challenge alone.
I don’t interact with anyone anymore, besides the three people I’ve known for my whole life. They don’t find me funny. I can’t say something and have them react in the way my classmates or hallmates would. I am stuck, isolated and my poor little extrovert heart is breaking.
Yeah, I’m still pursuing my dream career, but I’m sad and alone.
This week, take a moment to consider the people in your life that thrive on attention, and if you feel like you want your ear talked off, give them a call. They’ll appreciate it.