BRIONA SAAS
Special to The Leader
Happy soon-to-be Valentine’s Day, everyone! Hope you all have a special evening planned with your loved ones, or even a fun night spent with good friends. Valentine’s Day should be spent with people who make you happy, and there is no excuse to spend it alone, single or not!
Being in a relationship during Valentine’s Day should not be everyone’s priority. What’s more important is your happiness, and if you find someone to share that happiness with, then great!
Surprisingly, a number of couples that are together are not happy. The problem can be anything: being incompatible, or the lack of communication … it all has to do with the health of the relationship. Even the best-looking relationships can be extremely unhealthy behind closed curtains.
So, lets make an effort to not be blind to these signs and work on either looking for a healthy relationship or improving the ones we’re currently in. It’s important, because just being with someone doesn’t always mean the relationship is happy or healthy. By doing this we can have an even more enjoyable Valentine’s Day!
I got the chance to talk to some local couples on campus and discuss their thoughts about healthy relationships. What I learned from each of them is that balance in a relationship is really important.
When I asked freshman Noah Scott and junior Deana Buley what a healthy relationship meant to them, they both agreed on the word “balance.”
“Having balance, respect, and understanding that we can’t always agree on everything [is important],” said Buley.
Scott quickly added, “Balance is a good word; time together, time apart, and balance with arguments and getting along, too.”
Unlike most couples, Buley and Scott started their relationship off quickly and without knowing much about one another. This works for them because they learn and grow together as girlfriend and boyfriend.
“People are going to change, so getting to know that person as they change and grow is what’s most important to sustain a healthy relationship to us,” explained Buley. We can learn from them that balance is key in sustaining a healthy and happy relationship.
Freshman Dominic Vassallo and sophomore Stefan Uveges found that making sacrifices has been most important to them, especially because of their contrasting personalities.
“We do things the other may not like because we’re so different,” said Uveges, when explaining the types of sacrifices they make for each other.
The differences in Vasallo and Uveges’s relationship allow them to make each other better, and learn from one another.
“He calms me down,” said Uveges, “and he loosens me up. I was shy, but he’s helped me to open up and not be afraid to try new things.” The best relationships are the ones we learn from. Learning from one another makes it possible for couples to grow closer together, and understand each other better.
Sharing qualities and interests is also important to connect on a deeper level in a relationship. For freshmen Emma Jessop and Patrick Brett, who met at a summer camp, doing something they both love makes their relationship stronger.
“We both love music, cats, and we’re both goofy and have the same sense of humor!” explained Jessop when asked what she believes makes their relationship work. Jesop and Brett’s shared interests make them lucky enough to have a lot of the same classes together, but with all the distractions in college, I was curious to know how they maintain good communication with one another.
“We try to eat dinner every night and spend the night; we’ve always been good at talking to each other, and we’re good at making time,” said Brett. Communication, commitment and time are three very important factors to make a good relationship last.
Fights don’t necessarily mean you’re in an unhealthy relationship; it happens, but what determines the strength of your relationship is how you overcome the obstacles with your partner. For seniors Amy Walters and Andrew Flagg, trust is what keeps their relationship strong.
“Feeling like you don’t have to second guess yourself [is key]; girls with boyfriends question themselves too much,” explained Walters.
“[You] can’t sweat the little stuff like on social media … those arguments are not worth getting into,” added Flagg. A relationship without trust is just not comforting, nor will it last long. Learn to trust your partner and you’ll both be happier in the end.
Enjoy this Valentine’s Day with the ones who make you smile! I’m wishing everyone success in their current and future relationships, and remember: a happy relationship is a healthy one.