CARLY KNASZAK
Staff Writer
Students all over campus have been raising their eyebrows during the past few weeks; posters started announcing that Students Teaching Equals Positive Sexuality, or S.T.E.P.S, will be hosting “I <3 Female Orgasm!” on Tuesday, March 31. I was intrigued by what this event could mean.
The day arrived, and the MPR was packed with students. Some were with their friends, some with their significant others and some alone. There was a stand featuring merchandise reading “I <3 Female Orgasm!” and 25 percent of the proceeds from t-shirt sales went to Breast Cancer Action.
Chairs were set up in the middle of the room facing a stage. Over the stage was a slideshow which read “Now Playing: Our hand picked collection of female O songs.” I took my seat in the first row with my notebook in hand. I had no clue what I was getting myself into until Kate Weinberg and Marshall Miller, the sex educators of the night, took the stage.
“We do not ask people to turn off their phones, but we do ask you to turn your phone to vibrate,” Weinberg said — I knew this was the start of an innuendo-filled night.
I <3 Female Orgasm is a program that explores female sexuality and pleasure. But how does one find a job where you can go into detail about pleasing your partners?
“So, I want to tell you all a little bit why I got interested in this,” Weinberg said. “Some people figure out masturbation and orgasms when they are teenagers. Some people figure it out later than that. Some people figure it out a lot earlier than that, like pre-school. I figured it out in that last category.
“It really is not that unusual. Some kids just figure out what feels good. I didn’t really know what I was doing. I didn’t even know the words ‘masturbation’ or ‘orgasm.’ I also didn’t know that people in the entire universe discovered what I discovered. I really thought I invented the whole thing. Wouldn’t that be amazing if I was an inventor of masturbation?”
I was amazed with how Weinberg was so openly talking about the memory, which everyone has, yet tries to forget, from they were younger. But I guess being a sex educator, you need to be shameless.
“So finally when I was nine or ten, I decided to tell my best friend about this, and she says, ‘I’ve done it, too.’ There was this moment of massive relief, because it didn’t make me feel like such a freak,” Weinberg said.
I looked around to see how people reacted, and I saw recognition in their eyes. Everyone has been at that point where they explore their bodies but are afraid to talk to anyone about it because it is seen as a taboo.
“We appreciate the diversity of people that come here. Women who want to learn more about their sexuality, partners of all genders who want to learn more about women’s sexuality, people who are single, people in relationships, people who are married, people who are heterosexual, people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, people who identify as pansexual, queer, asexual, people who are like, ‘What do half those words mean?’ people who are cisgender, transgender, genderqueer,” Miller said.
It sparked conversations with different types of genders within the audience, and Miller asked the crowd if anyone could give a definition of what cisgender meant. Only a few people raised their hands.
I felt embarrassed, because I felt this was something I should know, but an audience member used an example, “You’re born, and they said you’re a girl, and for the rest of your life you said, ‘Hell yeah!’”
Miller further explained, “If you’re cisgender, the gender identity you have matches the one that you were assigned at birth.”
He explained how that’s when the doctor says in the delivery room, “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” — that’s being assigned a gender.
They went on to say that, since there are many people who are not cisgender, they would be using different kinds of language. One example was “people with vaginas” when talking about things like anatomy, “because not every woman has a vagina and not everyone with a vagina identifies as a woman,” Miller said.
The night did not only revolve around cisgender females.
“We support you making decisions about sex that are healthy and responsible,” Miller said.
“We are comfortable with talking about sex with any gender and, of course, sex with yourself,” Weinberg added.
The topics which stood out the most to me occurred during the discussion of how schools teach sex education.
“No one is going to ask to stroke your fallopian tubes,” Miller said.
I was honestly mindblown — not by the fact that someone cannot possibly touch a their partner’s fallopian tube — but by how much high school and middle school brainwash people. Miller said schools fear that, “If we give them tips on how to make sex better, they are going to do it right away,” Miller said.
Schools teach that the vulva is meant for reproduction, but never teach what sex is like; not one health class mentioned the clitoris as a pleasure point. Miller and Weinberg pulled up a huge diagram of a vulva and pointed out where the clitoris is located.
One thing I absolutely loved was that they touched on the fact that every vulva looks completely different and not to be ashamed of it.
The night also consisted of discussions of where to find the very famous g-spot, female ejaculation, educational books on people who have been traumatized by sex (sexual abuse) and ended with vibrators.
The vibrator discussion left the audience, myself included, intrigued. I had no idea they made an alarm clock vibrator — set the alarm, place in your underwear, and wait — or a Harry Potter toy called the Nimbus 2000, originally meant for kids. However, when kids got on the broomstick, it vibrated, so adults started buying them. They were quickly taken off the market after parents were outraged.
After the event, students went up to Miller and Weinberg and asked for sexual advice, and they were more than happy to give it.
The event made people feel comfortable talking to the sex educators about things they were previously too afraid to ask.
“I really liked the event; it was very informational for people of all genders. The event also made a somewhat ‘taboo’ subject for people more casual and comfortable to talk about; overall I think it was a great program to have on our campus,” said Sammi Cruz, a sophomore english adolescent education major.
“They made all efforts to be as inclusive as possible and to use inclusive language. These efforts made for a great show; they made sure to address all gender identities and sexualities, and they honestly were very conscious of the words they spoke,” S.T.E.P.S member and senior Krista Noelle said. “I also felt that the event did great things by discussing consent and respect for bodies, and also making female sexuality something that should be talked about! There was nothing better than having a large image of a clitoris on screen for all to see.”