ANNA SMITH
Special to The Leader
The Love of Self
the love of self,
plainly stated,
is an elusive
and, admittedly,
unknown thing
to me.
i’ve heard it said
that this thing,
when—or in my case,
if—acquired,
can change one’s life
for the better,
that all the facets
of being a damned human
are somehow made
more tolerable:
the learned judgment
from and of others,
the menial and meaningless
“work” of a society
that only speaks 9-5,
and the fear of being alone,
and of dying—
all these facets,
are somehow deemed
irrelevant, powerless,
and unblighting
of the higher human spirit—
a spirit refined
from the release of fear
and the embrace of suffering.
no,
suffering is no longer suffering.
it is instead
room to grow,
and that fear
becomes an equal parts uncanny
and just-as-intentional love
for one’s life.
and so, perhaps,
the damnation that comes from being human
really is made tolerable,
actually, more than—
perhaps, clichély and strangely so…
beautiful.
so, the Love of Self,
i will find you
esoteric and elusive as you are;
i will find you.
i will find you.
i will find you.
and stake my claim
on all of what was stolen from me
by an insecure, shaking-in-its-boots kind of world
i will show it
through undeniable proof of my own
that there is a better way.