I think it’s hilarious that I am still asked to do a “From the Desk of” story. I still do not have, nor have I ever had, a desk at The Leader. My desk is assumed to be any available seat in the Leader office.
In reality, my desk is scattered in different places across Fredonia; I can take my work anywhere on campus as long as there is Internet available. I know that writing this is just one of the expected things that editors do at The Leader, and I am happy to write it because I am a part of this wonderful team.
It makes sense to me now that my position of Graphics Editor would not have its own desk. I am often identified as a scattered individual. My mind is everywhere. I want to say “yes” to every opportunity in order to not fall behind my peers. I have realized that this passive competition, with no one but myself, has lead to the alienation of some friends and my personal happiness.
Saying “yes” to everything leads to doing nothing well. In my last semester at Fredonia, I am actually listening to this lesson and making changes accordingly. For example, I was the president of American Institute of Graphic Arts (AIGA) with a strong vision of what I wanted that position to be. Yet, I had never, from the day I was voted in as president, truly made the time to perform that role well.
I kept saying “yes” to more and more opportunities until I had to make the decision to step down as president. I also chose to withdraw from any compromise to my ideas as president. Towards the end I was leaving AIGA in the hands of my peers while I was still technically the president. So, I made the call. I’m done there now. This is not the first time I have had to do something like this.
Freeing myself up and beginning to say “no” has been very rewarding. I now have time to breathe when I am away from the work load I said “yes” to. I am making time for friends again. I am able to live each moment and envision my future without an accompanying stormcloud of stress or confusion following close by.
Whenever I was very stressed around my dad, he would simply respond, “two hands.” He would go on to explain that I only have two hands and to spread my focus beyond two separate things would often lead to the problems I was having.
I always imagined that if I extended myself to three or four points of focus that my feet would try to take over. Then a scene of myself toppling over or not being able to move because of the “weight” would play in my head. I really did appreciate this story every time he told it, and now the advice is finally beginning to stick with me.
I used to believe that everyone else should get as involved as I was. However, I was the one with the wrong idea: Saying “yes” too often and not paying attention to the important things like family, friends and my own well-being. If I could go back, I would definitely do things differently. But I am excited to take this advice to heart and use it from now on. I really don’t want to be in that position again.