Life changed for me four years ago when I received the worst news that someone could receive.
I walked into my house after a normal day of high school and practice to my mom and dad crying at the kitchen table.
Without saying anything, my mom looked up at me with tear-filled eyes and told me my cousin had died.
Immediately my thoughts began to run wild. I could feel my stomach drop and my heart pound out of my chest.
I stood in the doorway to my house in shock for a few minutes before the reality of it set in, when my parents said we were going to drive to Fredonia and Brockport to tell my sisters in person.
The car ride consisted of silence, crying and phone calls.
I sat in the backseat thinking about how this happened and why.
In the days following, nothing began to get easier and answers were finally beginning to surface.
My cousin Jason had passed away from a blood clot that formed in his heart with no time to stop it and with no suffering. My cousin was 31 years old and was like a brother to me. He was always making jokes, helping people and smiling. Jason was the kind of person everyone wanted to be around and to be friends with.
Four years have passed and time has not healed all my wounds caused from this event. I still think about him every day and how he will not be physically present for my college graduation or my wedding, and how he is no longer a phone call away.
But losing someone had put life into a new perspective for me.
I understand that time is not guaranteed and spending time with people is important, as is never leaving anything left unsaid.
Life will never go back to the way it was, but you will find a new normal. I thought my family would never be the same and we would never be able to enjoy happy times again, but I found out that we would — it would just be different.
“Normal” to us now is talking about memories of Jason and appreciating the time we did get to spend with him.
“Normal” is realizing that, although he may not physically be here with us, he is there in spirit, laughing with us and watching over us.
I learned that I could make a positive change out of a horrible event.
Jason lived by the phrase of “No Bad Days,” meaning that there are never any bad days, just some that are better than others. Every day teaches us something new and we learn from that.
The pictures of us hanging on the wall take me back to a much happier time in life when he was here.
Since his passing, I find myself thinking about him a lot and how life throws these challenges in our path and how we have no option but to overcome them. No time will ever bring him back, but he lives on through the memories, and I am lucky enough to have had someone so special in my life.