JORDAN PATTERSON
News Editor
2016, am I right?
I could be wrong.
Kidding aside, it’s been a long year.
If you haven’t met me yet, my name is Jordan Patterson. If you have met me or at least seen me, I promise I’m not as angry as my face would imply. I suffer from what the kids call “chronic bitch face.” Despite all that, I do in fact smile.
If you’ve gotten to know me, at least a little bit, then you know this is true.
So, how are you all doing? A little stressed? A little “I’m so over this year?”
Yeah, me too.
This semester was comprised of me constantly asking my friends, “Is this really happening?,” a lot of last minute homework assignments and countless amounts of binge drinking. (I’m trying to quit until after finals week and hopefully New Year’s, but if you see me downtown before that … I didn’t make it.)
Alright, let’s get the bad stuff from 2016 out of the way.
“Suicide Squad” sucked, Kobe Bryant retired, Willy Wonka died, social media mourned the death of a gorilla they never met for far too long, and as of Dec. 4, I quit my job.
Oh, keep going?
Arnold Palmer, David Bowie and Prince died (I never watched or listened to them, but I like the first guys’ drink.)
On top of all that, Drake sold a million copies in the first week with his album “Views.” I mean, good for him, but now whenever any of my favorite artists release an album, it’s going to be compared to him.
Even worse, the Chicago Cubs won the World Series for the first time since 1908. Again, great for them, but now every other team can’t say, “Well, at least we’re not the Cubs.”
ISIS is still a thing, North Korea continues to test nukes and tensions between minorities and the police seem to be at an all time high.
And I think that’s it. Those were the worst things that happened in 2016.
What’s that?
Am I forgetting something, or maybe someone, or some seismic political event?
Oh yes, the orange TV show host who used to say “you’re fired” is about to become president. Now, I’m not going to get super political on you because, frankly, neither will he.
But I do want to get serious for a paragraph or two.
Regardless of your political views, we all must admit that this election was a so-called “game changer.” If you’re pleased with the results, then I hope for the sake of the country that the president-elect does “great” things for all of us.
If you’re worried about the precedents that this president will set, that’s understandable too.
If there is a bright side in all of this, it’s that despite all of the bad things that happened in 2016, we’re all still here. We’ll continue to be here for the rest of the year and maybe 2016 will turn itself around. If not, 2017 is less than a month away, so hang in there.
Having said all that, good luck with your finals, and hopefully next semester will be less stressful.
Maybe when we all return from Christmas vacation, the new year won’t have such a plethora of unpalatable events for us to be force fed.
If that does happen, just remember that even when life is sporting a “bitch face,” hold on, because sometimes it might just smile.