Curtis Henry
Sports Editor
Allow me to preface this in a way that you can actually take it seriously. This isn’t going to be some fluffy Odyssey article written by a freshman girl who is totally obsessed with her roommate’s dog or the fact that the Starbucks guy wrote a little smiley face on her drink. This is, however, going to be a list. This is going to be a list of all the compiled knowledge I’ve gained in the last four years that I wish I could have injected into the freshman version of myself.
This is my eighth semester here, and my time at Fredonia is coming to a close. I won’t be finished in May, however. No, the thought of that ship sailed long ago. I’ll be around until next semester, and maybe next Spring, and maybe until I die. Who knows?
Anyways, here’s a list of all the stuff I wish I could tell freshman me.
You’re here to make mistakes
I’m the first guy from my family, on either side, to attend a four-year school to get my degree. This brought with it a “failure is not an option” mentality when I was 18, and honestly, I cracked under the pressure. Every single freshman on this campus needs to be conscious that they are, in fact, here to make mistakes. We’re all here for so much more than just an education; we’re here to learn how to live in a world that isn’t high school.
Spoiler alert: You’re gonna be an RA.
Hey you, you there. The scrawny white kid with a snapback who’s belligerently chugging fireball through a neon funnel. Yeah you, freshman. Get over here.
Good. Now stop being an idiot and grow the hell up, so you can get to doing your job and you don’t have to apply four times to get it. You’re gonna kick some ass as an RA. We good here? Cool.
Don’t blame yourself for mental illnesses
Depression and anxiety aren’t your fault. You did not wake up one morning and decide that you were going to be a depressed, overwhelmed, anxious shadow of your former self. No one does this. Yet, it’s so easy to place the blame on yourself for whatever is wrong with you. A lot of these things you can’t control. You just can’t. It took me nearly two years after enrolling to understand this concept. That two years was necessary, but holy crap, it’s time that I wish I could get back.
“What does the fox say” has absolutely no staying power.
Don’t get too invested in this song, bro. The whole freshman class is going to obsess over it while you’re out tater-thottin’ it up at Sunny’s. You’re going to hate it in six months, trust me on this one.
Get into the journalism major ASAP
If only I had known this before I threw myself into the dumpster fire that was me being a part of the childhood/adolescent math education dual major for three semesters. I’m not here to trash the education major — trust me, I’m not. But it was absolutely not for me. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Oh, and I’d probably be graduating on time if I had any idea what I was doing four years ago. It’s cool, though. No 17 or 18 year old knows what they want.
Donald Trump will one day be your president
This is not a drill. Only you have the power to stop it. In order to avoid this disaster, you need to make sure that he is able to purchase the Buffalo Bills. Don’t ask me why. Just trust me. If that doesn’t happen, the Bills will be responsible for the biggest joke of a presidency in American history. Your options are to ensure that this happens, or to move to Canada. Act fast, young blood.
Ask for help
Hey kid, if you could do me a favor and swallow all of that unwarranted pride of yours, that would be great. You’re not supposed to know what you’re doing. No one does. Go get some help before you make a bigger fool of yourself.