The Leader
Opinion

Lovercolumn: Establishing trust

“THE PLUMBER”

Executive Producer of Lovercall

“THE ELECTRICIAN”

Lovercall Producer 

Hello! 

We are The Plumber and The Electrician: two producers of the radio show Lovercall right here at SUNY Fredonia. Lovercall is an anonymous late-night talk show about love, relationships and more. Students who come on the show use a codename to protect their identities when discussing potentially personal topics, hence the codenames of the writers of this column.

Lovercall logo. Readapted by Alex Erwin.

On each episode, the hosts and guests of Lovercall participate in a variety of segments. The cast discusses a relevant news story, a date idea, a wacky discussion and finally a main topic for the episode.

Listeners also write into the show, either via Fredonia Radio’s Instagram, @fredonia_radio, or through the QR code listed in this column.  

The show is streamed weekly on Thursdays from 10 p.m. to 12 a.m. on WDVL 89.5 at www.fredoniaradio.com. 

This column runs in conjunction with Lovercall and can be found both in print and online at fredonialeader.org. 

“The Plumber” is a 21 year-old cisgender male who goes by he/him/his pronouns and is a senior at SUNY Fredonia. 

“The Electrician” is a 20 year-old cisgender female student who goes by she/her/hers pronouns and is a junior at SUNY Fredonia. 

Together, we hope to provide our best advice about college relationships, dating, friendships and other aspects of college life. 

Date idea of the week

We also hope to provide our fellow students with a fun and unique date idea in every column. For this week’s issue, we at Lovercall think you and your partner would have a great time jumping into giant leaf piles. 

Simply go out with your partner dressed in your warmest fall gear and grab a rake. Gather up the biggest pile of leaves you can and jump in! 

Not only is it fun to jump in and lay in the leaves, it also helps you clean up your lawn! 

This fun and practical idea is the perfect fall date.

Lovercallers

We call those who reach out to us “Lovercallers.” We use this space to answer your questions and listen to your stories.

First, we got a response from Tiny Violin on our Google Form. She said, “So my boyfriend cheated [o]n me. I know, I know that’s already a [red] flag if not an atomic bomb of a sign. However, that was four months ago, and he’s really been putting in the effort to work on us. … He knows I don’t completely trust him, and he’s been very understanding and supportive in my moments of doubt…” 

We shortened Tiny Violin’s response to fit in The Leader. 

We, The Plumber and The Electrician, advise you to take some time to reflect on how you are feeling. If you find yourself feeling like the relationship is not a good fit due to the actions your partner took, don’t feel you need to stay in the relationship because your partner is attempting to mend it. On the other hand, if you feel that you and your partner can work past this and continue your relationship in a positive way, you could go this route instead. 

When you are both apart, take some time to reflect alone without the pressure of your partner being there affecting your decision. This is the best way to ensure that you prioritize yourself and how you feel. 

Crystal Lagoon, a 19-year-old sophomore, also reached out to us. They said, “My boyfriend’s been having a lot of anxiety recently. He’s never had it as bad as this semester. I’ve given him my advice on how to handle his anxiety, but sometimes it doesn’t work. I want to help him with it as much as I can but sometimes I don’t know what to tell him when my advice doesn’t work. Do you have any advice on how to help your partner with their anxiety?”

Paul said, “Sometimes, it’s not about the advice.” 

You can give your partner as much advice as you’d like, but sometimes just being there with them and offering your support goes a long way. 

In addition, you may want to refer them to the campus counseling services in LoGrasso Hall and online at https://www.fredonia.edu/student-life/counseling.

Finally, Star reached out to us. 

She said, “The issue with my love life … [happens when I am] dating someone, and eventually I’ll say something that hits them in a certain way. This then leads to them realizing they have to work on something in themselves, and removing themselves from the dating scene. It’s happened to me four times, and things usually end positive and mutually, but I’m starting to feel more like a mentor than a partner. … so my fear is that I’ll never find someone actually ready for a relationship.”

We have shortened Star’s response to fit in The Leader. 

Star, we feel you should assess yourself. Is there something you’ve said to these people you’ve been with that is the same throughout your relationships? This could explain why they feel they need to work on themselves. 

Perhaps there is an issue with the way you approach your relationships. We think you should take time to work on yourself before getting into another. 

Reach out!

Scan here!

Do you want to ask the authors of Lovercolumn a question? Do you need advice? Fill out the form by using this QR code.

Interested in being a guest on Lovercall? Email frs@fredonia.edu or visit Fredonia Radio Systems, located in McEwen Hall 115 and open Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

“The Plumber” and “The Electrician” are members of Fredonia Radio Systems and are involved in the production of Lovercall.

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