MORGAN HENDERSON
Staff Scallywag
Tod Ramsey, a SUNY Fredonia senior, was found on the top floor of Maytum Hall throwing anything imaginable at the windows — the windows that don’t open and have non-breakable glass.
A SUNY Fredonia employee said, “By the time I got back to my office from my lunch break, everything that was previously on my desk and my chair was in shambles in front of the windows.”
A janitor, Mariam Stroud, who witnessed the breakdown said, “He must’ve really wanted to jump, because when he couldn’t get the windows open or break them he started crying like a little baby.”
Ramsey allegedly used everything around himself, including his body, in an attempt to break the glass.
“I would’ve stopped him, but I was just completely in shock,” Stroud said. “I was in shock because of how much stuff his noodle arms could throw,” she later explained.
University Police eventually arrived at the scene after that long walk from Gregory Hall and that long elevator ride up to the top floor. They calmed Ramsey down by telling him to “suck it up” and “get it together.”
Ramsey was taken to a nearby mental facility where he stayed for three days.
Ramsey’s parents said it was very unlike him to act so angrily.
“He usually just smokes a lot of pot and listens to a lot of Modern Baseball when he’s feeling discouraged,” Leah Ramsey, his mom, said.
After a relatively quick recovery, Tod Ramsey spoke to us about the roots of the disaster flower he sprouted that day.
“I’ve been having a bad couple weeks,” Ramsey said. “It started with the fact that I graduate in a month and I’m still an English major. Then everyone and their mom told me I was never going to get a job. Then I told myself I would never get a job because I’m lazy and naturally an idiot. Then I did all the math for how much debt I was about to be faced with. Then I remembered I don’t have a fraction of a plan for where I’m going to live and that only means one thing: moving back in with my parents. How can I go on?”
“But that last straw was when they cancelled Burger Wednesday,” he continued, talking to reporters. “I mean, if that’s off the list, then give me one more reason why I should get up in the morning. I’ll wait.” They sat for a while before they realized they were never going to come up with anything.
Ramsey is now down to only having half a breakdown every two hours. His coping techniques include “growing up” and “getting over it.”