[SATIRE] Braces are torture. Like, actual torture
Reading Time: 2 minutesI would not wish braces on my worst enemy, especially when you go to the cheapest orthodontist in town. ...
[SATIRE] An exclusive (non-) interview with SUNY chancellor
Reading Time: 2 minutesAs the leader of the SUNY system, King oversees 64 caampuses, hundreds of thousands of students and countless initiatives aimed at improving higher education across the state. He is a former U.S. Secretary of Education, a respected policymaker and a nationally recognized advocate for educational equity...
[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What dessert should you bring to your fall event?
Reading Time: 3 minutesIZZIE NOELLE Dessert Connoisseur Thanksgiving is fast approaching, which means most of us are heading home for the holiday. OR maybe you have a Friendsgiving party or a potluck coming up. You may begin to wonder about what to bring to your Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving or potluck, and the answer should......
The ultimate cran-baby tier list
Reading Time: 4 minutesAva-Claire Boring Special to the Leader Graphic by ELLIOT MORSE | Special to The Leader Ocean Spray cranberry juice is notorious for having cran-babies with every fruit imaginable. I’m sure if you’ve ever stepped foot in a grocery store, you’re familiar with this concept. I decided to pool together eight......
A girlfriend’s guide to watching your partner play video games
Reading Time: 4 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor Graphic by SAFFRON LARREA | Art Director My girlfriend is a gamer. I have known Olivia for close to three years and there is one thing that has always been consistent. When I sleep over at her house (mom, dad, I’m sorry) we usually end the......
[SATIRE] Nasty Nixon speaks out: “We aren’t that nasty”
Reading Time: 3 minutesRYAN FINK Special to the Leader SUNY Fredonia has a wide variety of residential halls throughout campus. We have buildings like Kasling and Grissom, the suite styles. We have University Commons and Gregory, the first-class living, and we have the townhouses, the billionaire life on campus. However, there are two......
[SATIRE] ‘Ask Freddy,’ new AI chatbot, tells all!
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor When SUNY Fredonia launched its new campus-wide AI chatbot, Ask Freddy, the goal was simple: provide students with instant answers about residence life and IT help while also giving the IT workers and Residence Life more of a will to live. However, during my exclusive interview......
[SATIRE] QUIZ: Will you be getting a lot of Halloween candy this year?
Reading Time: 3 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor October is one of my favorite times of the year. The air is colder, the trees turn pretty fall colors and candy is half off at like every pharmacy come November. Will you need to get that half-off candy, or will you have the perfect costume......
[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What basic costume will you wear on Halloween?
Reading Time: 2 minutesIZZIE NOELLE Horror-scope Writer HALLOWEEN IS APPROACHING! I am sooo beyond excited for Halloween and most importantly, excited to dress up. Now, I know that the horoscopes usually center around costumes, so I’m doing my take on that! I’m gonna tell you what basic costume I think you’ll wear for......
[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Who is your horror slasher bestie?
Reading Time: 3 minutesIZZIE NOELLE Horror-Scope Writer It’s finally fall, y’all. The temperature is dropping, and it’s officially sweater weather. As the autumn breeze blows, I know a lot of people looove to watch horror movies. Me? I don’t watch horror movies. This is exactly why I’m perfectly qualified to tell you which......