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A Message To The CEO Of Kellogg’s

OLIVIA SYLVESTER

Guest Scallywag

“Fruit Loops friends” by Thuy Pham. Licensed with CC by ND 2.0.

Really? You’re going to reject my proposal? Do you know how hard I’ve worked on this? How long have I spent? 

All I want is for the Kellogg’s Froot Loop cereal straws to be brought back. I’ve dedicated my life to this cause.

Now this may mean nothing to you, but it is everything to me. I remember that day in the grocery store when my father asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. I was only 12, I couldn’t possibly know. We walked to the cereal aisle to get my favorite snack, Froot Loop cereal straws, and were greeted with empty shelves and a single note: “Discontinued.” 

At that moment, I finally knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to bring these Kellogg’s Froot Loop cereal straws back in any way I could. 

As soon as I turned 16, I got a job at a Kellogg’s factory, in hopes I could work my way up –– and I did. 

In three short years, I was working in management at that same factory, juggling college at the same time. It was difficult, but I just had to remember what I was working towards. I finished college with a bachelor’s degree in business and a concentration in food management. Perfect. I would be working corporate at Kellogg’s in no time — and I was.

In just one short year after graduating, I landed an entry level position here. All according to the plan. 

For six years, I played your game of loyal office worker. I worked overtime, took on extra projects and earned promotions. All leading to the point earlier this week, where I, [NAME REDACTED], pleaded to you, the CEO and board of directors, to take up my proposal of reintroducing Froot Loop cereals straws back into the market. And you all denied me.

I am publishing my story in any newspaper I can get my hands on, to send you, and every little one of your puppets a message: You will regret this, for as you know, I’m nothing but determined. Consider this a two weeks notice — two weeks for you to reconsider my offer. And if you do not give me what I want by the end of those two weeks, let’s just say, it’d be a miracle if your building consisted of more than ashes.

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