Special to The Lampoon
PHIL 299 Beating Batman One of the biggest questions in life is who, if anybody, could defeat Batman in a physical confrontation. This course will attempt to find an answer to that issue through simulation, critical evaluation of historical attempts and extensive readings from leading scholars on the subject.
THEA 346.6 Intermediate Animal Noises How does a raccoon sound? Do chickens “caw-caw,” “cuckoo” or something else entirely? And why are animal impressions becoming one of the most marketable and valued skills in the emerging workplace? Through intense evaluation of theory and practice, this course examines all of these topics and many more.
COMM 7 Passive Aggressive Communication This course intends to equip students with the tools necessary to preserve your sense of righteousness while still really taking them down a notch, as well as provide an introduction to topics such as blame deflection, denying your true feelings and the perfect way to say “whatever.” But you don’t have to listen to me, I guess. It’s not like I’m the expert on this or anything.
PSY 45612 Mental Breakdowns in Action In this course, students will observe and critically evaluate the complete and total breakdowns of other individuals, as well as attempt to prepare for their own special moment when that feeling – the one where you’re wasting your time and you needed to apply to grad school last September anyways and you should have just listened to Dwayne in high school because he’s doing pretty good for himself but you’re here of all places plugging away at the days and hating yourself for it and it’s not right – finally sinks in.
MATH 227 The Biggest Number Intended for majors and non-majors alike, this course investigates why some numbers are bigger than other numbers and applies the skills from that field to attempts at discovering what the biggest number might be. Assignments include thinking up big numbers and a 35-page research paper on the topic. Previously having taken MATH 226, How Many is This Number, is recommended for this course but not required.
ART 0 Literally Just Throwing Some Garbage Together and Calling it Art Students in this class will literally just throw some garbage together, call it art, slap some price tags on the junk and sell it all off to pay for food, which in turn will become waste that other students can pretend has value. Becoming acquainted with this cycle will allow students to appreciate not only their life choices up to this point, but also their immediate prospects for the future and how dumpster diving might play into them.
ENGL 834867 Doorknobs in Contemporary Literature, and their Effect on, Uh, Something The 21stcentury has seen the emergence of the doorknob as a potent symbol in the world of literature for, um, people’s anxieties … Yes. That’s good. This course will read a variety of works from around the world that address the idea of the doorknob and what it’s … capable of? We will also engage thoughtfully with the leading theorists on the topic, ranging in school of thought from psychoanalytic, neo-post-proto-Marxist and some of the other ones too, probably.
HIST 498 History of Fast Food in Fredonia McDonald’s. Burger King. Taco Bell and Kentucky Fried Chicken. These are only some of the emblematic franchises that have come to define the area since their debuts, and in this course we will learn the vast and rich history behind each of these establishments and more. Hopefully students will learn what the world, just a few blocks away from campus, has to offer and come away from class with a new appreciation for all things deep-fried. All students registered receive a free coupon for any milkshake of their choosing.