AWKWARD ANNIE
Staff Lampoonist
I never knew how out of shape I was until I started having all of my classes in Thompson on the third floor. I live on the third floor in my residence hall, but nothing compares to the dark stairway of hell leading up to the highest peak of Thompson. By the time you reach the bottom of the stairs, from wherever you were just walking from, there is a moment where you second guess even going to class, because you know how winded you are about to be after crawling up the slip-proof steps.
The other day I was running late to my psychology class and, as I was passing the parking lot to the door of Thompson, I saw a man who looked like he was in a hurry coming up close behind me. He was dressed like the ultimate hipster with a skinny tie, blazer and the thick-rimmed glasses to match. He walked in right behind me and I held the door for him and the look of “I’m so late” painted his red face. He gave off a student teacher vibe and I imagined he might have been late to a class in which he was a TA. As I made my way to the stairs, I realized he was following me; I already felt bad because I was gonna be so slow.
As I started ascending, I could hear gasps and wheezing behind me, and it stunned me a bit. With every step, I could hear him struggle, trying to climb up the flights, and had to fight back laughter as he started getting louder and adding, “Oh God” to the mix. This guy sounded like he was running in a marathon and pulling up the tail end of a 5K. When we got to the third floor, he sounded like his hands were on his knees and he was counting his pulse and checking how well he did on his run. I half expected a team of people to rush to his aid with water and a towel to wipe the sweat from his forehead.
I kept going on my way to the lecture and heard the heavy breathing subside; I knew that he had gone in a different direction. I have a feeling that he didn’t know he was being that loud, but for me and the two people in front of me, it was a weird way to end a Wednesday. I think I want to do that to someone I’m walking behind and see what their reaction is just to make them feel the awkward.