TIM DENSMORE
Special to the Lampoon
Accounting major Joe Schumoe is 12 credit hours away from graduating. With one third of the semester remaining, he has decided he wants to fail. The reason — Cheesy Friday.
“I don’t think I’m ready to give up Cheesy Friday,” said Schumoe as he chewed on a mozzarella stick from Centre Pointe. “I’ve been eating at Cranston every Friday since freshman year, and it’s really grown on me — almost become a part of my identity. It’s either fail and take another semester, or give up the greatest tradition in Fredonia history. It’s an obvious choice.”
Schumoe is so close to graduating with a Bachelor of Science in accounting. His intent to fail puzzles his roommate, David Aretino.
“He seriously wants to stay another semester for campus grilled cheese and tomato soup. What is that?” said Aretino. “It’s so easy to make grilled cheese, I tell him. He says it’s just not the same.”
Schumoe said, “Cheesy Friday is a tradition, and you don’t just give up tradition.”
He is not willing to give up eating a cheesepacked lunch every Friday, even if it means taking an extra semester of classes. When asked about his concern over paying for an extra semester of college, he said, “My parents have money — it’s not like an extra semester will bankrupt them. Besides, isn’t it their responsibility for my education?”
Schumoe does not regret his decision to fail all of his courses for the Fall semester. Schumoe believes that he has made the right choice and is sticking with it. As he stuffed the last of the mozzarella sticks he was snacking on into his pocket, he summed up his thoughts with this quote: “I believe people need to stay true to their passions, and mine is Cheesy Friday.”