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Introducing Fredonia’s new mascot: Puppy Monkey Baby Blue Devil retires as per student request

Illustration by Dakota Marquardt
Illustration by Dakota Marquardt

THE FEVER

Assistant Lampoonist

 

A puppy, a monkey and a baby walk into a room. This isn’t the beginning of a bad joke, either.

For anyone who didn’t pay attention, there were two big takeaways from Super Bowl 50: One, the New England Patriots somehow cheated. Two, Puppy Monkey Baby will forever remain in our hearts — and nightmares.

During the face-off between the Carolina Panthers and the Denver Broncos, Pepsi aired a commercial, as expected. In an attempt to advertise Mountain Dew Kick Start, Pepsi used its advertising department to debut the most unsettling threesome ever: a cross between a pug, a chimp and a toddler. Coined as “Puppy Monkey Baby,” the creation was reminiscent of ManBearPig, the South Park character who proved creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone most likely drop acid on a regular basis.

Since the debut of the mentally scarring Mountain Dew ad, Puppy Monkey Baby has been simultaneously rising in fame and infamy. However, the former has seemed to grab hold of the students at Fredonia, where a petition has been passed to make the Frankenstein-esque creature the new mascot, replacing the Blue Devil.

In an exclusive interview with the Lampoon, we sat down with the Blue Devil himself to talk about what his future holds.

“It’s not going to be easy from here. The job availability of devils is very low nowadays,” began the Blue Devil with his devilish grin now more resembling a frown. “I could possibly find work being the bad side of someone’s conscience or even work on my deal-making skills.

“I will give it to Puppy Monkey Baby, though,” The Blue Devil continued. “Much like his ad in the Super Bowl, I didn’t see this coming. Kudos, my hellborn friend,”

While the petition gained a lot of popularity, many students seem to be disapproving of the change. Sophomore music education major Mo Art, for example, was unaware of the new change until he was asked about it for the interview.

“You’re telling me that monstrosity is going to represent our school?” Art began. “I thought the smoke-free campus was a bad idea, but this just topped that by at least 10.”

Despite the slightly unpopular opinion, the petition has been passed and will come into effect. Puppy Monkey Baby will be sending the Blue Devil into retirement as soon as the next Fall semester.

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