MISSY FEOLA
Staff Lampoonist
“American Idol” is far from over, with FOX renewing the show for its 16th season. This season will be nothing like the ones before, however. The theme is officially being changed from a singing competition to a pottery-making competition.
The chosen potters will not be crafting your ordinary bowl. They will be making pottery of the “American Idols” from the previous seasons. The contestants’ pottery will be judged by pottery experts Lana Del Rey, Jay-Z and Morgan Freeman. People will also be able to call in and vote on their favorite pottery idol every week.
The winner will receive a lifetime supply of clay to make endless pottery creations. The clay can also be used to bathe in or brush your teeth with. Basically, the winner will live in a clay-covered heaven for the rest of his or her life.
And what could possibly be better than that?
“We can’t wait to see what the contestants will create this season,” said American Idol host Ryan Seacrest. “They have so many idols to pick from. They can go predictable and make a Kelly Clarkson idol, or be a little more daring and create a Sanjaya model from the sixth season. The possibilities are endless.”
Each episode will be three hours long and will show all of the contestants on the American Idol stage making their pottery, followed by a cut-throat judgement of their creations. Each pottery idol that is made on the show will be kept in a room of worship where, for only $600, anyone can come and pray before the holy clay idols.
At the auditions, the potters will be given eight minutes to create their best creation. They will be judged on the fluidity of their hand motions, their overall form, the final product and, of course, the physical appearance of the potter.
“The contestant’s appearance has always been very important on American Idol,” said American Idol creator Simon Fuller. “If you don’t got the look, then you might as well just give up on everything. As a potter especially, you have to be attractive based on the industry’s standards. No one likes an ugly potter.”
Season 16 is set to air on Nov. 6, 2016.