THE FEVER
Assistant Lampoonist
Donald Trump has a knack for calling out the dishonesty of the media. Out of this, he has created massive appeal, especially from millionaire and undercover Sith Lord Carl Paladino. No news outlet is safe from the Donald’s lashing out at their dishonesty.
Not even satirical news website, The Onion.
The Onion, made popular through its satirical attacks, makes regular comedic pieces on every presidential candidate, including Trump. Apparently, Trump doesn’t appreciate its brand of humor. Or maybe he doesn’t realize that it’s humor?
Trump unleashed on the satire website after reading multiple articles that the site has written about him. One article in particular, titled “‘I Can’t Do This Again,’ Shaking, Sweating Donald Trump Says After Nervously Vomiting Before Rally,” set Trump on a hostile rant at a rally in Pennsylvania, where the crowd went into an uproar to show its support for his stance on the media.
“I have never ever vomited before in my life, let me tell you. Look at me? Do I look like I vomit? The Onion is ridiculous with their lies. They have to be the most dishonest people I’ve ever seen in my life,” Trump said to his supporters with dried vomit on his suit shirt. “They even tried to convince people that I’ve talked about myself being a pathological liar. Ridiculous, am I right? I’ve never lied about anything in my life.
“You know, it’s people like those in The Onion that just prove the dishonesty of the media. Look at the stories these people try to convince people. Just look at them. There’s no such thing as a Brita filter for your throat. CNN, FOX, The Onion, it’s ridiculous,” Trump continued.
Trump was later asked on CNN if he was aware that the website purposely posted fake news for the sake of humor. Trump was not only unaware of it but denounced it even further.
“Fake news? That’s crazy, O.K.? People will believe anything nowadays, and that’s why I want to change these libel laws, to keep fake and dishonest news from hurting my already crippled reputation,” Trump said. “We need to establish a libel wall that blocks the media from saying anything negative about me, because if it’s negative, it’s not true, O.K.?”
The staff of The Onion has yet to release any statement in regards to Trump’s allegations, but it’s safe to assume it’s because its throwing a party over the whole thing.