EMMA PATTERSON
Special to the Lampoon
It’s that time of year again, folks. The days are shorter, the nights are cooler, and students around campus can be heard saying things like, “It’s literally 1,000 degrees in Fenton” and “I think I’m melting.”
That’s right, the fall season is upon us once again, and soon enough, students will scramble to throw on their wooly sweaters, roll up their shorts, and flood Instagram with pictures of trees adorned with introspective captions such as “Keep Calm and Pumpkin On.”
But what do you do if your Insta game is lacking? Luckily for Fredonia students, the Bookstore is the perfect place to go for all your autumnal needs.
Upon walking into the Bookstore, one can’t help but feel like snuggling up with a hot coffee and good book whilst swaddled in a fluffy red blanket. This is a known fact, as this writer heard multiple people sigh and utter this about five minutes into her journey through the store. And walking through the store truly is a journey, as those who have attempted it can probably attest. Not only is one greeted by a huge, glittering spider web stretched across the entrance of the store (it took this writer an embarrassing amount of time to untangle herself from it), but also by the spider itself, who was not happy to come home to find a college student taking selfies in its web. Sorry.
But perhaps the first thing fall-starved students notice when they enter the store is the smell. Yes, THAT smell. The smell that permeates every Starbucks and craft store this time of year. The smell that makes one feel joyous and a little hungry all at once. The smell that reminds students that, indeed, there IS a season between summer and winter: pumpkin spice, the forgotten Spice Girl who just wants to have a good time. She shows up unannounced every year and reminds you that Fall Break isn’t too far away. She is light. She is hope. She is everything. She is pumpkin spice.
For all you pumpkin spice fanatics out there, the bookstore has you covered. Students could not hold back the pumpkin spice-induced tears, as they walked past pumpkin spice notebooks, pencils, sweatshirts, water bottles, textbooks, lanyards, yoga mats, lip balm, battery-operated scented candles, headrests — at this point, literal pumpkin spice latte tears gently flowed down some people’s cheeks. Some students were seen gnawing on pencils, while one student was found in the back of the store, cradling and gently weeping into an empty Starbucks pumpkin spiced latte cup. I hope he’s okay.
However, if pumpkin spice isn’t quite your cup of tea (if so, who are you and can you even?), worry not. The bookstore has a plethora of fall-themed decorations and knick-knacks for students to peruse.
“Look at these roots,” one student was reportedly heard saying in front of the Actual Root display. Her eyes gleamed with the promise of a new DIY project, as she turned to this reporter and asked, “Do you know if they carry hacksaws?”
Hacksaw Girl was not the only student fully embracing the autumnal atmosphere of the bookstore. A young couple, both looking cozy in plaid button-down flannels and slightly-worn leather boots, stood at the front of the store serenely observing the seasonal chaos occurring before them, sipping cocoa from tiny teacups and constantly adjusting their thick, black-framed glasses.
“This is our time,” one of them whispered. His eyes were misty, and his girlfriend gently touched his arm. “It’s okay, babe,” she said. “It’s going to be okay. Football is coming.” The idea of being able to soon yell stuff at his TV seemed to appeal to him, as he perked up a little. A minute later, they had vanished.
Although the identities of these people are unknown, it’s no secret that autumn is a truly magical week of the year. So, Fredonia students, go jump in piles of dead leaves. Sweat under your sweaters and yoga pants. Learn how to knit your own scarves. Post that picture of a deer on Instagram. Spend literally all of your money on Starbucks and early gifts for the holidays. Next week, we’ll be buried in snow, anyway.