JACLYN SPIEZIA
Special to the Lampoon
Late last Thursday night, one student, who we will keep anonymous for privacy purposes, was on the way towards the parking lot by Fenton Hall and thought it would be a great idea to use the Spine Bridge as a short cut. Little did this person know that the Spine Bridge was not there and proceeded to exit the second floor doors, only to fall flat onto the pavement. The student was rushed to the hospital and luckily only suffered a few broken ribs, two broken wrists, and one broken leg.
When many people heard of the incident, they were confused because they did not believe that the Spine Bridge was gone and reported still being able to see the bridge.
One student said, “The bridge is not gone. Yesterday, I walked underneath it to the library.” I reasoned, “Wasn’t it raining yesterday? Did you have an umbrella?” “No,” she replied. “But you didn’t get wet?” I asked. “Of course,” she replied, “The rain always spurts out underneath the deteriorating bridge.”
In fact, after interviewing a variety of students, I almost started to convince myself that the bridge was still there, even though I still couldn’t see it. Then on Sunday evening, I was walking to the bus stop when I saw, or rather heard, a group of students arguing on the second floor of the Williams Center. Before anyone knew what was happening, the one student walked out the door. It was then that something weird happened; the student was seemingly floating.
I always had heard the saying that if you believe in something strongly enough, it could become true, but I never thought of the extent to which this saying was true. However, this idea did not correlate with the first incident, since the student who fell did in fact believe the bridge to still be there. Nonetheless, the other students were awed.
Suddenly, the student who had been arguing with the other shook his head in disbelief and stepped outside to go to the other student, but then fell flat on the pavement and broke both his legs and punctured his lung. It was later discovered that the student who was seemingly floating was just using his hover shoes. The student who fell is suing the other squabbler for convincing him that he could float. In conclusion, whether or not you see Spine Bridge, steer clear of walking off the second story of the Williams Center.