WE THE PEOPLE
United States Citizens
To the next POTUS,
First of all, congratulations on winning the election. It was a long road and a hard fight, but you have officially secured your seat in the Oval Office for the next four years. There’s just one problem: it’s not going to work out. It’s not you, either. It’s us.
We’ve been in a long and eventful relationship for the past 240 years. We’ve had good times and bad, but unfortunately, we’ve reached this point where we’re just not sure of ourselves. I know this may be hard to take in, but we need the next four years to figure ourselves out and see if you are truly going to fit our needs. We’re not even sure what we’re doing, to be completely honest.
This may not make much sense to you, but in time, it will, and as time goes on, it’ll get easier to cope with the fact that we won’t be together for a while.
We’ll never forget the time that we ditched the haters and kicked them out of our lives, or the time when we had that huge argument, but we managed to come to a mutual agreement and worked things out. We’ve been hit with many trials throughout our relationship, and we’ve overcome them all. But times have changed, and so have we. We’re just not as compatible as we used to be. What you want isn’t what we want, and what we want isn’t even a relevant thought to you.
We feel underappreciated. What we think doesn’t mean anything to you, and that’s not how a healthy relationship is supposed to function. In a healthy relationship, we listen to each other, hear each other’s thoughts and make a compromise. Lately, we haven’t had any middle ground, and it’s either our way or your way.
I hope that we can be together again someday, but for the time being, that doesn’t seem too likely. In the meantime, we should keep our options available and see other people. Like I said, it’s not you. It’s us.
Sincerely yours,
We the People
P.S. We also may or may not have been talking to Bernie Sanders behind your back.