D. ZBORNAK
Staff Lampoonist
While getting back into the swing of their normal schedules, many students are recounting their experiences with their families from Thanksgiving Break. While not ideal in everyday life, one might say the romanticism of opposing viewpoints and trivial bickering has become a beloved tradition of American family gatherings.
Short home vacations are often a humorous reminder to students that where they are now may be a little different from where they came from.
One student laughingly described an incident like this: “When I got home for Thanksgiving, my dad had already broken out the Confederate flag table cloth. It’s a treasured family heirloom that I may have forgotten about during my time away.”
A classic among uncomfortable dinner table conversations for college students is the dreaded “So what are your plans for after graduation?” Few questions make a 20-something’s anxiety peak quite like it, yet it’s the most popular way to interrogate young adults at the dinner table.
Student Bob Spergerz described a short chat he had over dinner: “The whole family was gathered around the table eating like kings. It was glorious. Then all of a sudden, my aunt asked if I had any post-grad jobs lined up. So, of course, I told her, ‘No, but only because I made it into medical school.’ That’s a total lie, but she doesn’t need to know that.”
It’s true that holiday gatherings can be fertile soil for awkwardness, but it seems that the abundant food on Thanksgiving puts all of the disagreements at bay. It is perhaps the one day where everyone shares a common goal, specifically to test the strength of their waistbands.
Student athlete Jim Soxx couldn’t have agreed more. “I come from a big family where everybody cooks spectacular food. Thanksgiving is where we compete for dominance over the remote control by seeing who can eat the most. I was in such a gluttonous trance that I almost didn’t see the ‘Make Pro Wrestling Real Again’ inscription written in cranberry sauce on the turkey.”
While these Thanksgiving recaps are relatable to most college students, perhaps the most awkward story came from graduating senior Ginger Vitas.
“At first, everything was great. I noticed that everyone in my family was being particularly nice and loving to me. This oddly special treatment continued but hey, who was I to complain?”
Vitas went on to explain that once she was happily satiated she left to take a nap. The food coma was hitting her hard, so she said goodnight to her family. To her confusion, they all had a worried look about them but didn’t say a word. It was then that Vitas realized her bed was missing from her room. In fact, the room was mid-renovation and all of her things were packed away in the attic. It was then that her parents broke the news to her. They believed she needed a little help moving out of the house once she graduated. Also, her uncle was temporarily unemployed and would be staying in her old room.
These students are proof that, sometimes, the things that bring us together as family are the memories we wish we never needed to make. Nevertheless, the uncomfortable awkwardness of family gatherings is like the brandy in the punchbowl: necessary, but in limited quantities.