ALBERTO GONZALEZ
Special to the Lampoon
The reality of the Trump presidency is starting to sink in, and for many, it is bleak. In an effort to show that things are not as bad as they might seem, Obama has reached out to the slowly-forming Trump administration to help the country transition from one presidency to the next.
Obama set up a meeting with Trump in an effort to help steer things in a positive direction. Although Obama had hoped that his meeting with Trump would instill some confidence in his hopes for our country’s future, it did quite the opposite.
Trump’s indecisiveness and lack of contingency in positions had reminded Obama of that of a child. After realizing a fully grown child has just been elected to the Oval Office, Obama decided to take him by his baby hands and teach him the only way he knows how.
A classroom has been set up inside of the Oval Office in an attempt to give Trump a last-second crash-course into the job to which he has just been elected. To prepare for the meeting, Obama consulted with a real elementary school teacher, and together they came up with a lesson plan.
A quick look inside his lesson plan shows such intricate policies broken down as simply as possible. These plans include “the Middle East: the hot stove of the world — just don’t touch it!” and “Healthcare for winners: how letting millions of citizens keep their insurance can actually make you seem like MORE of a winner.”
The effects of this classroom can already be seen by looking at the statements that Trump has made since becoming president-elect. Trump seemingly has pivoted 180 degrees on the majority of policies that he has been campaigning on. At this rate, by the time that Trump is inaugurated, there is a good chance that Obama could be in store for a de facto third term.
A problem that was encountered during the first of what hopefully becomes many lessons, was that, after about a half an hour, Trump was exceptionally tired. Unfortunately President Obama had not accounted for this aspect of teaching a man-child, and Trump went for night-night times for the rest of the meeting, taking an hour long naptime on the floor of the Oval Office.
In the battle of turning a child into someone ready to be leader of the free world, Obama has his work cut out for him, but if there was one man for the job, it would be him. All we can hope is that the next time that another transition meeting occurs, Trump has taken a long nap beforehand, has a full tummy and isn’t in a grumpy mood.