JACLYN SPIEZIA
Special to the Lampoon
Recent data has shown that Alaska, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, Oregon and Washington all cannot be seen from outer space. A researcher has found that smoke clouds are causing these states to be unseen.
Even with our advanced technology, the clouds are too thick to see through, making these states seemingly invisible.
What do all of these states have in common? As of Nov. 9, all of these states have legalized the use of both recreational and medical marijuana.
Researchers believe that the high usage of marijuana is clouding the atmosphere over these states.
With concern for the environment, Sen. Oldman said, “We must make marijuana usage illegal again!” However, no studies have proven that clouds are harmful to the environment or that they have even caused any problems other than visibility. In fact, one research study has found that these smoke clouds are actually protecting our deteriorating atmosphere. Nitrogen, water vapor, ozone, carbon dioxide and oxygen currently make up the atmosphere that protects Earth.
People like Sen. Oldman believe that marijuana smoke is harming the atmosphere, while other research has found it may be helping it. Many people that enjoy recreational marijuana fear that these states will make marijuana illegal if the smoke is proven to have a bad effect on the environment.
There is currently a group of people who are trying to find ways to sneak their marijuana to other states to divert the smoke. One man, as I watched him get into his car with a giant paper bag, said, “I’m smoking it all now, so that there will be none left for them to find.” I wonder if he knows that marijuana is a plant that can be grown. Also perhaps I should have called the police as I don’t think it’s legal to drive and smoke. Well at any rate, this issue could be a serious one, or it could be a great one. At the current time, there is not enough information to tell what the effect really is.
A questionnaire was given to people in the states in which pot was legalized. One eccentric man, Gary Gieser, from Maine said, “We are all gonna die! All drugs are bad! The government wants us to take drugs! It’s a trap! Especially those legal ones like vitamins.”
Mary Wuna, from Nevada said, “I think the smoke from pot will help the environment.” A teen from Colorado said, “Frankly, I don’t care about the environment. I just want weed.”
It is still unclear what effect, if any, the smoke will have on the populace of these states, as phone lines have been jammed for days with outgoing calls to pizza restaurants.