ALBERTO GONZALEZ
Special to the Lampoon
Just a little over a year ago, if most people were asked if it seemed possible that a third party politician could raise more money in the few weeks after the election than they did during the actual election, then that would seem a little absurd. If it was then added that this money was in an effort to recount votes, which would certainly have no effect on that candidate at all and would only help one of the main party candidates, some might think that their intelligence was being mocked.
This is 2016, however, and a “South Park” episode comes to mind. Why would an 8-foot-tall wookie want to live on Endor with a bunch of 2-feet-tall Ewoks?
That. Does not. Make. Sense.
You might be asking yourself, “What does that have to do with Jill Stein making more money for a recount then when she was running for president?” Nothing! That has absolutely no connection to anything in this story. So why is it that I am even bringing it up?
I should be talking about how, in this perfectly backwards political world, it seems as if Jill Stein is taking a recount — that will not affect her at all — more seriously then she took running for president and how that does not make sense. Nothing makes sense.
Is this humor, or is this just news? I don’t even know anymore because nothing makes sense. Should Stein have been able to raise that much money for a recount? Probably not, but does anything make sense? No. Should a “South Park” reference ever be applicable to real-world politics? Probably not, but it is, and that’s because nothing makes sense any longer.
Stein did not win a single state, and the recounts will not change that. They could help to give a few more votes to Hillary Clinton but that more than likely also will do nothing in the grand scheme of things. In this world we find ourselves in post-election, it might provide some much needed reinforcement to those who are still in denial and who wish to not believe the results of the election for just a few days longer.
After all the votes are counted, should there be any recounts, everyone should prepare themselves, because more than likely in a few weeks, when there is an inauguration, there will be little orange hands on the Bible being sworn in.
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, Stein can raise tons of money, all because nothing makes sense.