JACLYN SPIEZIA
Staff Lampoonist
As the exploding Samsung Galaxy S7 news has phased out, reports suggest that a new cellphone phenomenon has started to take place. The Amazon Echo, which is designed around voice control, has exhibited an originally unidentified feature. After hours of listening to you bitch about an annoying ex, the Amazon Echo can reportedly talk to your annoying ex for you.
“My ex-boyfriend, Peter, wouldn’t stop calling me, and I would call Aldous and complain about him to him. Then the next time he tried to call, my Amazon Echo answered the call for me with a recording of my voice. I didn’t know how to feel when I got a text from Peter thanking me for finally answering his call,” said Sarah Marshall, an owner of the Amazon Echo.
Marshall continued to express her feelings about the Echo.
“I asked him what he was talking about, and he said that I had told him that I struggled juggling both him and my career and that I hadn’t meant to move on. The thing is, though, I hadn’t said that to him. I had said that on the phone to Aldous,” she said. “The Amazon Echo left out what I said after that, which was that I was happy to have moved on to Aldous and was excited for our trip to Hawaii. It was creepy to think my phone could know which words were the right ones to say, but after it did that, Peter stopped calling.”
Although this feature could be useful as avoiding annoying exes can be difficult, other users think this feature has dangerous potential. Another Amazon Echo owner, Belle, had to hold back beastly anger while giving her testimony.
“I had told my father on the phone, when talking about Gaston’s proposal, that I didn’t think we should get together. When Gaston called, it said to him that we should get together. When Gaston showed up at my doorstep, I fled the town,” she said.
Whether or not you think this is a helpful feature that you would like, or one that you would want to be improved or get rid of, Amazon is looking for feedback; they left a message saying they think it is a “great unexpected feature!”