ALBERTO GONZALEZ
Staff Lampoonist
“DAMN.” DAMN! This album can be best summed up with the word DANG, because dang it is good. That, of course, does not mean that we did not have some criticisms for the album.
The album starts with “BLOOD.” and immediately it seems as if K. Dot, Lamar’s stage name as a teenager, is suffering through a traumatic brain injury as he is taking forever to get through his story of being shot by a blind woman he tried to help. The end of the song ends with an audio clip from the White House-approved FOX news, in which they talk about Lamar’s song “Alright,” and accuse his last album, “To Pimp a Butterfly,” of inciting violence.
DNA.
This is the next song up, in which Kung Fu Kenny delves into the substance of his deoxyribonucleic acid and what it means to be the one-and-only K. Dot. This song was only three minutes long, and that is clearly not enough time to list off all 3-billion chemical bases that makes up his genome.
YAH.
This song is perfectly named for exactly what you should say when someone asks if you like this song. Did he not spell-check his stuff? I do not know how such an obvious error could have made it all the way to the final product!
ELEMENT.
Kung Fu Kenny is the most in his element in this song.
FEEL.
I was feeling this song. In the context of the song he was probably not feeling it as he was coming to terms that no one was praying for him. HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT?? Is he God? Does he have an inventory of all prayers ever to be prayed? Is it just one specific religion or all of them? This song opens the door to so many questions.
LOYALTY. FEAT. RIHANNA.
Rihanna is in it so it has to be good, right? I just hope for Lamar’s sake that he came with that feature money when he met her.
PRIDE.
Here is a song that Lamar must be proud of. Halfway through this album and it seems like the whole one-word song titles thing is not going away. This song is pretty catchy, and I find it constantly getting stuck in my head, so if you like having songs hold your brain hostage, “PRIDE.” is for you.
HUMBLE.
Hey, this is that song everyone is always playing!
Update: The music video for this song is really weird.
LUST.
A song called “Lust.” has a weird young British child speaking in it… not sure what is going on here, but I will remind you that the deluxe version of “good kid, m.A.A.d city” had a tinted-out minivan on the cover.
In the music video, Lamar was dressed up as the pope. Are these all random facts or is he trying to tell us a dark secret? You can decide.
LOVE. FEAT. ZACARI.
Who the heck is Zacari?????
Update: This is the second song you can listen to if you love giving your brain Stockholm syndrome.
XXX. FEAT. U2.
U2? REALLY?? U2?? So many questions! First off, U2 still is around? Second, why are they on this album? Is this why no one has really heard from them since that time everyone with an iTunes account was forced to have their album, and now they are just hiding on hip-hop albums? Lastly, after listening to this song 15 times in a row I have no idea where Bono is actually hiding in this song. Let’s just hope he isn’t clapping in the background; HE NEEDS TO STOP CLAPPING.
FEAR.
This song is not scary at all; what a let-down. Lamar raps backwards for a little bit in this song, so maybe there is something scary in there, but if that is the case, with the exception of one-word song titles, it should have been named “COMPLICATED CONDITIONAL FEAR.”
GOD.
I guess Lamar is definitely not an atheist, which is pretty weird for being a millennial.
DUCKWORTH.
IT’S HIS LAST NAME! Last name, last song.