ALBERTO GONZALEZ
Staff Lampoonist
Everyone knows that Trump’s Twitter tirades are to be expected when he’s actually aware of something going on in the world. This week, the Lampoon decided to follow Trump’s Twitter feed during Hurricane Harvey:
“Someone told me that there was a hurricane coming. Fake News. Let’s just see what happens.”
“There was wrongdoing from both the people and the hurricane. Let’s just look at this from many sides, OK.”
“Ok, the hurricane is real, but who cares? I mean, because it’s not affecting me. Disaster respondents finally have work to do. JOBS!”
“I know I should be tweeting about this Hurricane, but has anyone tried my steak? I’m eating it now. It’s delicious! Just saying!”
“I’m sorry to all the people who got hurt from the hurricane. Sad! I’ll be raising your taxes and cutting your pay soon too. AMERICA FIRST!”
“My people have been doing great work! We are making great progress! This is the best hurricane ever since we handled it so well….”
“. . . What would crooked Hillary have done? Everyone should be happy you chose me to be your president. I really am helping. The results… ”
“. . . are here. Don’t believe the fake news! There will be worse things to come when we go to war with North Korea. Fire and Fury!”
Many people were unsure of how to react to his tweets, taking offense to the idea that it was both the fault of the people and the fault of the hurricane. One woman responded by saying, “I don’t know what I am more afraid of: this hurricane or Trump.” Her comment and many others suggest that we may be in for a whirlwind of natural disasters with our president’s “fire and fury” claims.
Other hurricane survivors were upset that Trump originally said, “Let’s just see what happens.” One gentleman said, “Who does he think we are? Guam?”
White House insiders reveal that they do not like Trump’s twitter rampages, either. One anonymously said, “We have to feed him his steak every day, and then he tells us he doesn’t like it. But that’s not what he says on Twitter!”
What we, at the Lampoon, have learned from his tweets is that we just have to expect the unexpected.