JASON CHEUNG
Web Editor
Monday, September 4, 2017
1:42 a.m. A skunk was reported entering Kasling Hall without permission. When questioned, he was afraid and sprayed the main lobby. Students were evacuated and relocated to other dorms. Clement J. Skunk, age 4, is being arrested and charged with criminal use of a biological weapon.
3:30 a.m. An individual was being harassed by a roommate who tried to convince him Coca-Cola is healthier than Pepsi. A report was filed, and a statement was taken.
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
4:00 p.m. A group of students was found gathering outside of the Fenton Hall cafe. It was discovered later that they were in a heated discussion of what’s the correct pronunciation for the word, “covfefe.”
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
3:00 p.m. University Police received a report of a student throwing his phone off the roof of Maytum. Upon investigation, the student wanted to destroy his Nokia 3310 as his parents aren’t buying him a new phone until his current one is broken. The phone was found intact, and the student left in despair.
Thursday, September 7, 2017
2:00 a.m. A noise complaint was made about residents of Grissom running around in ninja style shouting, “Come to Grissom!!!” University Police arrived, but they had already moved to Alumni Hall.
Friday, September 8, 2017
6:00 a.m. Becca Black was singing her favorite song, “Friday,” as she was so excited for this weekend. People were asking her to stop singing and more than 10 complaints were filed.
Saturday, September 9, 201
2:00 p.m. UP was called after a sudden protest of students demanding the campus turn on heaters in the residence halls stating that it was too cold. They left when the police arrived as it was too cold for them to be outdoors.