DOMINIC MAGISTRO
Special to The Scallion
After the “No Burger Wednesday” escapade, the head chef position at Cranston has been vacated.
While FSA was looking for a new head chef, Cranston has suffered from lines even longer than normal at the pasta counter, a distinct lack of taco shells at the taco bar and the same “Flavor of the Day,” New York Cherry, for the past month.
After his brief stint as a game show host and his successful run as the star of “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” on Food Network, Guy Fieri, prince of frosted tips, has decided to make Cranston the set for his next hit series “Crammin’ Faces with Cranston Aces.”
Fieri’s new series is still in the early stages of production, but it is very clear he chose Cranston because he is interested in working with a young, all-student cast.
The show follows Fieri’s attempts to transform Fredonia into “Flave-donia,” a rebranding of his signature Flavortown. It appears Fieri is going to try to recreate the insane food challenge dishes from “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” using students as his kitchen staff.
In addition to the old dishes being remade, he has created a few food challenges specific to Cranston. Fieri claims that any student capable of eating his new dishes in 60 seconds will receive a signed picture of him doing finger guns and sticking his tongue out. It is already confirmed he will start the timer with, “You have a minute to win it.”
Due to the celebrity appearance, a vast number of students have applied to work at Cranston.
Some of the students already working at Cranston are fearing assassination attempts because it will open another position for the FSA to hire one of the new applicants.
“I want to feed starving broke college kids, but I also want to teach them how to cook for themselves because they’re lazy Millennials and stuff. I just want to make Flave-donia a great place for students to eat some delicious foods like ketchup, onion and peanut sundaes, you know? It is my personal oath to never skip a Burger Wednesday,” Fieri said, grinning and pointing at the monster two-pound burger on the grill behind him.
Stop on by Cranston to try his dishes for yourself, or if you decided to get a meal plan with no meals, catch “Crammin’ Faces with Cranston Aces” Wednesdays at 1:00 p.m. EST
