ALBERTO GONZALEZ
Staff Scallywag
As the first month of the new year comes to a close, so, too, does the annual crème de la crème of music award ceremonies: the Grammys. This year’s installment, however, did not disappoint in delivering its usual dose of upsets, whacky and the overall bizarre. There were a few things that seemed to be missing. Here is a quick seven things we wish happened at the Grammys:
- Kanye revenge — Eventually karma will come back at Ye for his interruption of Taylor Swift all those years ago. Why not have it happen at the Grammys? Eventually, someone will feel strongly enough about a result that they will feel compelled to just cast aside all social norms and snatch away the milliseconds of acceptance speech that artists get. It would only make sense that an artist who would be able to cultivate such rage meet someone as polarizing as the great black skinhead rapper himself.
- Leo still is in shock over his Oscar — From onomolie to meme to winner and back again. This night seemed like such a perfect opportunity to continue on with his acceptance speech for the best actor Oscar of 2016. There were politicians and a lot of things that definitely were not music present at this year’s Grammys, so why not let Leo get up on stage and remind people he actually won an Oscar. This would also be a good way to hit two birds with one stone if it happened during a Kanye appearance.
- Not enough holograms — The first hologram performance that comes to memory is Tupac at Coachella. This was followed up by Elvis and Michael Jackson (with some weird semi-live performances sprinkled in between). Why not bring back some more of the greats? This time around could have been a blast from the past with the Nirvana front man himself. Let him play with Dave Grohl right after he accepted his award for best rock song. Just for fun it would be great to have Kurt run up to the mic right as they finished their set and have him frantically screaming that it was Kourtney over and over until getting beamed back to hologram land. Afterwords, I bet Dave’s daughter still wouldn’t think he was cool.
- Consolation puppies become a thing everywhere — Does this one really need that much explaining? Who wouldn’t love a puppy if they didn’t win a competition. I am sure somewhere someone is having a heart attack about millennials and participation trophies, but this is something different. How does that saying go? When one door closes another opens. That is exactly what is happening here and if the puppies were from shelters, it’s a win for everyone.
- Kendrick Lamar gets a permanent semi-annual appearance — Kendrick Lamar has given a Grammy performance every two years for the last six years, and every single time he has done so, there has been very few who have had negative things to say about it. This could of been the performance that he announced that he would be coming back every other year making his performances just as coveted and rare as the Olympics.
- The tie at the Grammys gets resolved with a fight to the death — Many had the same critique of the Grammys this year: it was par for the course and was old and boring. To quench the thirst of these thrill seekers, all ties should have resulted in a televised fight to the death brought to you by Bud Light in the pit of misery! DILLY DILLY.
- Bruno Mars gets an honorary Grammy named in his honor just to win another Grammy — Bruno Mars won so much hardware he didn’t even know who to thank anymore at the end. Might as well of given him another 12 awards just to see what he would of been saying during his acceptance speech on the 15th Grammy.