JACOB LOGRIVER
Rejected band frontman
It’s been meme’d to hell and back; so much so, that it has been recognized by the federal government who has officially declared the month of May “National *NSYNC month.”
To celebrate this momentous move, the mayor of New York City issued an impromptu parade down Broadway, with attendees dressed up as Space Cowboys and blasting Justin Timberlake’s angelic voice on every airwave in the five boroughs.
“I gotta admit, this is all a bit weird considering the song came out 18 years ago. But I mean hey, I ain’t complaining, we got a free parade and everything,” said a parade goer, shamelessly double fisting a beer and a corn dog.
“People have been living under constant stress thanks to the fake news, so we decided to give them a breather with a whole month of boy band dreaminess,” said Sarah Huckabee Sanders, main roastee of the White House Correspondents Dinner.
People gathered from far and wide to move away from the New York State of mind and into the groove of the late ‘90s, early 2000s. The most popular and cost effective costumes were people wearing cooked ramen noodles as wigs and thrift shop joggers.
“This is wild, man,” said Justin Timberlake, another parade attendee. “Like, first we were a meme, but now we blew up sky high with our own national holiday! We outranked that Walmart kid for sure, last I heard he was performing at some backwater college town.”
While this holiday has gotten mostly positive reception, the naysayers will have to sit this one out, because it will be a while before we say bye bye bye to this new month of celebration, this I promise you.