The Leader
Scallion

‘Avengers: Infinity War’ fans receive mental health day from campus officials: ‘You’ve been through enough’

Emily Kupp/Staff Illustrator

ALBERTO GONZALEZ

Staff Scallywag

 

The long wait for the release of Marvel’s newest installment is finally over. The dust has finally settled on the MCU and everyone who has seen it has one thing in common: they need to take a few days off, at least, from reality.

Apparently, Fredonia officials feel the same.

Students across campus have received emails excusing those who have seen the movie from class, allowing them some time to “take it all in.”

Those who need counseling in order to wrap their minds around the movie will also have someone available to them. Last week, we here at The Scallion interviewed a handful of students who have already seen the film. Their reactions were the same: They were just looking forward to enjoying the Fred Fest activities so that they could get their minds off of the emotional weight of the plot.

Health professionals thought it would be a good idea to watch the movie to get perspective on what students might be going through. This, of course, lead to the need of the counselors needing counseling of their own. This has started a seemingly never-ending chain that has caused a major meltdown of the counseling infrastructure worldwide.

Now that more than a few days have passed, there is a new symptom that has been afflicting the campus: Those who have finally accepted the ending of the movie are starting to realize that they have to wait a whole year before seeing the second part of “Infinity War,” and, unlike most two-part movies, you can’t just force yourself to read some dumb book to figure out what will happen in the next installment!

Many of you might be thinking, “Well, you could just read the comic books, you know!”

The problem with this idea is that the movie is a hybrid between a few comic book stories, so even if you did read all of those comics, what is actually going to happen is anyone’s guess.

For those of you who are reading this, do not be deterred! This movie is well worth the pain that will be inflicted on the soul and the deep-seeded depression that you will more than likely carry around with you for the next year!

11/10 would watch again. For those of you who have already seen it and are still suffering, try watching it again. Maybe it will make things better or worse, but who knows? I would say it’s worth the risk!

Related posts

Ranking Politicians’ Merch

Contributor to The Leader

 Humans steal jobs created for AI: The irony of automation in reverse

Contributor to The Leader

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum so it’s different 

Contributor to The Leader

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. By clicking any link on this page, you are permitting us to set cookies. Accept Read More