ALIAH RICHARDS and AMBER MATTICE
Guest Scallywag and Managing Editor
Don’t you hate it when you go out and there’s like three people wearing the same outfit as you?
Doesn’t that make you question your sense of style?
Do you feel basic? Upset? SUPER annoyed? We’re assuming you said yes, right? Then why doesn’t the same thing apply for Halloween costumes? Here’s of list of things we are literally begging you not to do this year:
1. The same old cat, or bunny. Like, come on now, it’s been done a million times over.
2. Sexy Minion. For crying out loud, STOP TRYING TO SEXUALIZE THESE TINY CARTOON CHARACTERS. IT’S GROSS AND WEIRD AND WRONG.
3. Nerds. Since when did this become a costume choice? If that’s the case, I know a lot of people walking around with this costume on year round. Try something like College Freshman, instead. You’ll frighten anyone you come across, I’m sure.
4. Hippies. Yawn. The general population of Fredonia’s campus does not make for a good Halloween costume.
5. Vampires. Are we really still doing this people? We stopped talking about them, like, 87 years ago. Let’s think of something else this year, please and thanks.
6. Hipster Trash. Putting on a trash bag while sporting a flannel is funny but so last year.
7. Indian costume? Don’t even think about it.
8. Putting on a sombrero? Not a costume.
9. Blackface paint and a rainbow wig? If you want to dress up as an insensitive prick, give it a try. Prepare to get punched in the face though. You deserve it.
The moral of this little article? Aim for creativity and originality this year. There are costumes that have been done but are still funny, like Donald Trump or a genuinely scary costume: your GPA.
Think hard before you step out into the world sporting a costume that appropriates another culture. It’s 2018 and we are NOT having it this year.