TRAVIS LEFEVRE
Editor in Chief
Three students on Eagle Street have achieved the impossible this Halloweekend after throwing the spookiest house party in town.
Barry DeLive, River Styx and Emma Goner got together and planned this shindig months in advance, deciding that the best way to spook up the joint is to invite a bevy of supernatural forces.
“We used an Ouija board to send out invitations to the spookiest people we could think of. Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson and the Zodiac Killer made the top of our list for sure,” said Goner. “Although honestly, I’m not sure if some of these old-timers understand our lingo.”
“I heard this party was going to be ‘lit,’ so I came prepared to join the fun,” said renowned arsonist Thomas Sweatt.
Other additions to their guest list included Edgar Allan Poe, Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy. Goner said they wanted to throw a killer party, and the only way to do that is by getting the best in the business.
Guests were encouraged to bring a party favor or a decoration from the underworld to spruce up the place for the holidays. While a majority brought goat heads and brimstone, others decided to get more unique with the gifting.
“Jim Jones showed up for some reason, we didn’t invite him but he gave us rat poison as a party favor. I couldn’t tell you why, but it’ll do great work in the basement when we need it!” Goner said.
This is the second supernatural summoning on campus this semester, with the first going to President Horvath and other Fredonia administration members summoning the Fredonia Founders for Founder’s Day. The founders didn’t attend the night’s festivities, but according to Styx, “they would have been so proud.”
“Zodiac’s actually kind of a nice guy. He doesn’t talk much so he must be an Aries, the adventurous introvert,” Goner said.
Word spread quickly of the Eagle Street party on Facebook, Twitter and DeadSpace, which according to Manson, is a dead man’s social media. “Women’s, too. Not just men. Gotta be inclusive and all,” he added.
“This party is going to be wicked, I just hope that someone is keeping Jim Jones away from the punch bowl,” said sophomore education major Dee Compose, donning her best impression of “Scream Queens” Chanel #6.