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Ask Fairy Godmother: Your place to bippity bappity bitch

Dear Fairy Godmother,

 

Valentines Day is coming up and I’m not sure how to celebrate. I’ve been so busy since starting school that I haven’t had time to even think about dating or relationships. I’m probably just going to buy some cheap chocolate the day after and wallow in loneliness. That is unless you have a fun alternative for someone alone on V-Day.

 

Please help,

Lonely Heart

 

Dear Lonely,

 

Valentines Day is NOT all about relationships or dating. Saint Valentine himself wasn’t even the one in love! St. Valentine was beaten, stoned and beheaded for breaking the rules and marrying people. So my advice is live by his example instead of the commercial bullshit excuse of a holiday. Break the rules this Valentines Day! Get arrested! Tear down the establishment! Do all of these things responsibly and with a full understanding of the consequences you may face. Once you’re done sticking it to the Man, buy all the chocolate your heart desires and just live your life.

 

Sincerely,

Fairy Godmother

 

Dear Fairy Godmother,

 

My roommates want to go out to the bars for Valentines Day but my long-distance boyfriend and I had plans to video chat. I feel bad blowing them off but this is a really special thing for us. They usually mock me for being boring and a prude, just for being loyal to a relationship! Granted, I haven’t gone out with them at all this semester but I’ve been busy with school stuff too. How should I handle it when they make fun of me for staying in?

 

Please help,

Bullied in Love

 

Dear Bullied,

 

People who treat you like that are not your friends. They need to respect your priorities and suck it up. Cut them out of your life if you feel like the abuse is too much. Similarly, if you think they truly just have your best interests at heart, perhaps reevaluate your relationship. I don’t really have sound advice for this one because there are too many variables. Maybe your roommates don’t like the way he treats you but don’t know how to broach the subject. Or maybe they’re just a bunch of worthless jerks. The distinction is up to you to decide my dear. Either way, stick to your guns and don’t let anyone tell you how to handle matters of your heart.

 

Sincerely,

Fairy Godmother

 

Dear Fairy Godmother,

 

I recently broke up with my long term girlfriend and I’m not handling this week very well. She ghosted me after almost 5 years together because she couldn’t handle a long distance relationship. I’m feeling really sad and lonely, what should I do? Do I try to win her back or should I just go drinking with the guys and try to forget her?

 

Please help,

Why Me

 

Dear Why,

 

Although I usually preach destructive or otherwise questionable coping mechanisms, I think you need to really take care of yourself right now. Find some friends and some non-inebriated activities to take your mind off of the heartbreak. Life goes on and right now you just need to get through things one day at a time. Spend time evaluating what does and does not make you happy, maybe watch some Marie Kondo if you need help with that. Find and celebrate what brings you joy.

 

Sincerely,

Fairy Godmother

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