DOM MAGISTRO
Special to The Scallion
Super Bowl LIII was disappointing for sports fans, music fans and fans of commercials alike, but no group of fans were as disappointed as those of beloved childhood cartoon, “SpongeBob SquarePants.”
As a result of creator Stephen Hillenburg’s death, a petition was sent to the NFL asking for a sort of “in memoriam” portion of the Pepsi Halftime Show to be dedicated to Hillenberg by playing “Sweet Victory.” This was a reference to the episode “Band Geeks,” in which SpongeBob and other residents of Bikini Bottom perform at the Bubble Bowl, which is, itself, a reference to the Super Bowl.
The headlining group, Maroon 5, agreed to perform the song. Fans of SpongeBob were ecstatic. Believing they would bear witness to a monumental occasion in the history of SpongeBob culture, they rejoiced.
The fated day came, and Maroon 5 did not play “Sweet Victory.” Instead, the opening was played, and the song cut to Travis Scott’s “Sicko Mode.”
The fandom was crushed. Petitions were made asking the NFL to apologize, asking Maroon 5 to apologize and asking Adam Levine to apologize. As of one week since the incident, no such apology has been issued.
On campus, the delay of Activities Night has proven detrimental to the logistics of many clubs. Clubs which were already planning their first meeting before Wednesday, Feb. 5 lost their access to new members.
One club was unaffected. The SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club Fredonia Chapter was torn apart by the lack of “Sweet Victory” at the Pepsi Halftime Show.
Former President Robert Retangle answered his door in a catatonic state.
He had this to say: “It’s just so pointless. Hillenberg is gone, Adam Levine let me down and Activities Night was cancelled. It was a horrible money-grabbing scheme by the NFL to get us dedicated fans to watch the Halftime Show. Just like when Mr. Krabs defiled Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen’s grave for money. Stephen was number one.”
Retangle closed his door with no further comments, but could be heard sobbing “he was number one” through the door. It was honestly pretty pitiful.
Retangle reportedly single-handedly disbanded the club in the SA office last week, the day after Super Bowl Sunday. He believed there was no point and that the fan base would be better off without being mocked by the sick jokes of “Sicko Mode.”
People still interested in enjoying their love of SpongeBob should not dismay. There are still clubs on campus for them. Interested students are encouraged to find like-minded peers in the Fredonia Anime Club, Animation and Illustration Club, and/or Comic Culture Forum.