JOSEPH MARCINIAK
Assistant Editor of the Scallion
A recent tweet from President Trump has baffled climate change scientists and brought them into a panic. Climate change scientists have begun questioning everything they thought they knew.
The tweet was simple, but effective. President Trump said, “Real cold in the North East, could use some of that global warming right about now.”
Leah Bronky, climate change professional, was quick to comment, “I can’t believe this. My whole life’s work has been disproved in one tweet. I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming.”
Scientists all over have been throwing papers in the air dramatically and running around amidst random fires.
Donald Trump tweeted this after an intellectual analysis of the weather, deciding that, due to the cold, this “global warming” is impossible. Scientifically speaking, if global warming was real, the Earth would be warmer.
“Why isn’t the Earth warmer??? WHY ISN’T THE EARTH WARMER???” a scientist yelled at one of his students earlier this morning.
Freddy Gronky, another climate change scientist, pointed at a picture of the map of Australia in response to this question.
One of his students, Mark DoesntKnowAustraliaExists, responded, “What are you pointing at? I don’t see anything.”
Other scientists, such as Perry Plonky, has been searching the Earth on a tour to find global warming. He’s traveled to a record one continent, one country, four states.
“I’ve been to Texas, Vermont, Oregon and
New York. I can’t find global warming anywhere!” Plonky said.
If any climate change scientists are reading this article and have an intelligent straight answer as to where global warming is, please email The Leader (leader@ fredonia.edu). We’re trying to find a really funny snapback to tweet at Donald Trump, but we can’t think of anything.
He might’ve gotten us here, guys. Wish us luck.