DOM MAGISTRO
Staff Scallywag
Stephen Colbert, host of “The Late Show,” recently replied to Donald Trump on Twitter with the words “orange man” in reference to the President’s artificial tan. There is backlash from Florida as a coalition of 32 citrus farmers threaten litigation for defamation of character.
“Mr. Colbert has associated oranges, and by extension my client, with a fascist administration which insults the migrant workers on my client’s payroll. Florida Fine Oranges will not sit idly by while its name is dragged through the mud because of the similarity in complexion to the President of the United States,” said Sylvester “Sly” Me, attorney for Florida Fine Oranges, a company which prides itself on hiring migrant workers and ensuring they are paid a legal wage and given breaks.
“Oranges are beautiful. Trump is not beautiful. Relating one to the other makes oranges seem not beautiful. Orange Oasis Oranges provides citrus fruits to locations all over the nation, making this company the backbone of the citrus industry. For Colbert to hijack our name and apply it to Trump is unforgivable,” said Herbert Oasis, owner of Orange Oasis Oranges, a company which recently got into legal trouble for mistreating its migrant workers.
“Look, orange companies do not have a trademark on the word orange. It’s ridiculous for them to claim it and try to sue Mr. Colbert for saying a word. It’s a pity we live in such a weak nation that people get upset over every little thing. These companies should have seen ‘The Colbert Report.’ They don’t have a leg to stand on, and I have complete faith that the court system will not find Mr. Colbert guilty,” said a spokesperson for Colbert.
Regardless of the results of the case, the fact that Orange Oasis Oranges and Florida Fine Oranges are actually agreeing on something is impressive. The two have been seen battling it out in court against one another for years over migrant workers, farming subsidies and disaster relief. Colbert’s ability to get them to agree on something is a testament to comedy’s ability to bring people together.