JOSEPH MARCINIAK
Assistant Scallion Editor
The handsome and charming Assistant Scallion Editor, Joseph Marciniak, struggled to find another joke about Il Diavolo Blu. According to sources, this one’s been milked dry.
“The baked ziti monster joke is done, already made the Russian food joke,” the great Joseph Marciniak said, “There has to be more to this! It’s a gold mine for comedy, I need more from it!”
Reportedly, after three hours of struggling to find a title, he finally just wrote a title about President Trump.
About three days later, while the wonderful Mr. Marciniak was still figuring out a joke, he received a text from the Editor in Chief Travis LeFevre.
“Hey Joe, got that article done for the week? We have to format the paper tonight.” The text read. “Oh also, we’re going to pay you a weekly salary now, because we love your articles and you are brilliant, master.” (Sidenote from writer: Wow, thanks Travis! I’ll give you my bank account number so it can be direct deposit!)
Quickly, without thinking, the fantastic and brilliant Joseph Marciniak typed up an article without any mention of Il Diavolo Blu.
“We lost this week boys. No mention of Il Diavolo Blu.” the dashing Marciniak said, “I’m sorry to all those expecting a phenomenal joke about it this week. I promise we’ll be back next time”