The Leader
Scallion

Fairy Goddaughter, September 4, 2019

Dear Fairy Goddaughter,

Last year, I made this great group of friends. We did everything together from Willies to Walmart. You didn’t see one of us without seeing all of us. It was my first time having a real group like that. Then, over the summer, we barely saw each other. All of the plans we made were almost always canceled. I’d chalked it up to it being the summer, but now we’re all back on campus, and I haven’t seen anyone since move-in day. No one has time to hang out anymore, and the group chat might as well not even exist. I really don’t want to lose my friends over what might just be a readjustment. How do I fix this without making it even more uncomfortable?

Please Help,

Suddenly Lonely

 

Dear Suddenly Lonely,

If I’m being honest, you are not the first person with this problem, and you absolutely won’t be the last. Friendships sail. They go through times of inseparability and times where you barely remember if they exist. That being said,  this is not a fun or easy thing to go through. The conversation about it is even less fun. I’d say talk to one friend before you talk to the group, that way you can gauge the feelings. If they have no clue what you’re talking about, you can approach the group with a more sensitive and “I miss you guys” vibe. If the friend feels the same way, the rest of your friends probably do too. Either way, if you want to keep this friend group, you can’t ignore this convo.

Sincerely,

Fairy Goddaughter

 

Dear  Fairy Goddaughter,

I had a Hot Girl Summer, to say the least. Megan thee Stallion and I might be the same person. And that’s the farthest thing from a problem. The real issue is I don’t know how to stop. I drive the boat, but I can’t get myself to drive it to study. I can’t get out of my Hot Girl Summer mentality, and I know I can’t keep this up until next May for Hot Girl Summer 2: Electric Boogaloo. How can I quiet my inner Hot Girl and get off the boat?

Please Help,

Perpetual Hot Girl

 

Dear Perpetual Hot Girl,

Are you forgetting that Megan thee Stallion is also Megan thee Student? She’s turned her Hot Girl Summer into a Hot Girl Semester. No one said you can’t also have Hot Girl Weekends. Don’t let Ms. Megan catch you slippin’ out here or else you’ll be forcibly removed from participating in any further Hottie activities. 

Sincerely,

Fairy Goddaughter

Related posts

Ranking Politicians’ Merch

Contributor to The Leader

 Humans steal jobs created for AI: The irony of automation in reverse

Contributor to The Leader

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum so it’s different 

Contributor to The Leader

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. By clicking any link on this page, you are permitting us to set cookies. Accept Read More