JOSEPH MARCINIAK
Scallion Editor
George Greenback,
junior hiding with a lampshade over your head major
“I can’t really worry too much. I bought some Crayola crayons the other week. Did you know they plant a tree every time you buy one of their products? I mean c’mon, that’s self sustainment if I’ve ever seen it.”
Gale Monturoy,
freshman starbucks customer service major
“I mean, you gotta hand it to the president of Brazil. He’s really making a good point to the rest of the world that Brazil can fuck up a bunch of it’s own country if you hurt the presidents feelings enough.”
Herald Terrance,
senior making sure the Amazon doesn’t burn major
“Holy shit, the Amazon’s burning? I gotta make some calls!”
Louis Rundleskin,
junior the boys major
“I could probably get a couple of the boys together and we could try to take care of it for ‘em. We got a couple buckets we could fill with water. If it gets a bit much, I could also bust out the water balloons I was saving.”