DOM MAGISTRO
Staff Scallywag
Aries:
If you’re going to start a fight, wear sneakers. You’re going to need to run.
Taurus:
The world seems like it’s against you, but that’s just because you need to turn around.
Gemini:
People say you’re two-faced, but that’s not true. You’re such a backstabber. Even you know you’re three-faced.
Cancer:
Don’t get it.
Leo:
Now is the time for reckless acts.
Virgo:
The inner you is coming out. Embrace them. Free your bones.
Libra:
It’s all about balance. If you eat pizza for breakfast, make sure you drink orange juice for dinner.
Scorpio:
Good things are coming. Do not try to stop them.
Sagittarius:
Start training; Aries is going to be wearing sneakers, and you’ll need to catch up.
Capricorn:
It’s fall; make sure you have plenty of Candy Corn.
Aquarius:
You’re not a water sign, and for that I will never forgive you
Pisces:
1/4 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 tablespoons BBQ sauce