JOSEPH MARCINIAK
Scallion Editor
Well, you can’t get angry at him for this one.
President Trump recently walked to the fence outside of the White House, alarming members of the secret service, and tore his clothes off “down to his undies” reports said.
Not even mad; guy has got some balls.
Multiple witnesses were at the scene, including Tyler Harmongo, local veteran and police officer.
“I really felt America in my bones and eyes at the moment I laid eyes on Trump’s beautiful love handles,” Harmongo said. “Makes you wonder why Obama never tore off his clothes for the American people.”
Other witnesses did not react so well. Grace Jabrungus, a local mom visiting with her daughter was shocked to say the least.
“I can no longer see. Please help me,” Jabrungus mumbled. “I don’t know where my child is.”
On an unrelated note, if anyone identifies a young girl in a stroller unaccompanied by an adult, please report to the authorities as quickly as possible.
Here at the Scallion, we make sure to go directly to the source. We managed to book a flight to the White House to interview President Trump himself.
Unfortunately, the interview did not go well, as Trump kept mumbling and mentioning his intense pissing skills. Not really sure why he started talking about that, but a trip to the White House is a trip to the White House, regardless of the white hot ball of rage currently holding office.