HANNAH BLIDY
Guest Scallywag
We all know how passionate Bernie Sanders is about taxing the wealthy. According to his website, if he becomes President, he will implement a policy taxing the extremely wealthy. This tax would be annual for households who make over $32 million per year. In other words, the top one percent. However, something that Sanders fails to mention on his website is that he’s also looking to get rid of other types of one percent – one percent milk, to be exact.
In an exclusive interview with the Scallion, Sanders and I met to discuss his presidential plans. During this interview, Sanders disclosed that his tax on the one percent isn’t the only thing he’s looking to implement.
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Sanders said, “I met this woman one time, and this is absolutely true, I met this woman and she says to me, she says, ‘Bernie, I need help.’ She says, ‘Bernie this one percent thing, are you really gonna implement it?’ And I say, and this is true, I said to her, ‘Of course I am. I’m here to help you and other strugglin’ people in America.’ Then she says to me, ‘Well Bernie, I just have to say that I’m proud. I’m so happy that someone is finally gonna do something about one percent milk.’ And at first, I was thinkin’, well what the heck, what the hell is this about? But as I kept thinkin’ about it, I realized she’s right. We don’t need one percent milk if we already have two percent, whole and skim milk. Not to mention all the new types of milk vegans are drinkin’. So, I decided that this is anotha’ new angle to my candidacy. When I become president, I’m gonna tax the top one percent, and ban one percent milk.”
You heard it here first folks, banning one percent milk is on Bernie’s to-do list for when he becomes president.
The New York Democratic primary is scheduled for April 28, 2020.