ALEXANDRA WALSH
Guest Scallywag
Aquarius:
COVID-19? More like Hoevid-19, Aquarius. I see you on Tinder.
Pisces:
Wash your hands please, thank you.
Aries:
Social-distance yourself from Geminis… They are never good to quarantine with.
Taurus:
I know you miss the cutie you used to see every MWF in your class, but chances are they don’t miss you back.
Gemini:
Stay tf away from everyone during this quarantine. Please.
Cancer:
I hate doing your horoscope. Just stay inside.
Leo:
Good news is that this pandemic will hopefully be over by the time your birthday comes around.
Virgo:
Wasting your time on Bumble doesn’t make you productive.
Libra:
Capricorn is trying to flirt with you, Libra.
Scorpio:
Hurry up and go buy food from the grocery store.
Sagittarius:
Your TikToks are lame.
Capricorn:
‘Sup.