HANNAH BLIDY
Confused Staff Scallywag
Okay, so it’s been like three weeks since spring break, and I don’t think I’ve seen a single person on campus. Seriously — not one. I really just don’t know what’s going on.
I’ve been going to my classes, but no one ever shows up! Not even the professor! I don’t think that my professors have canceled classes because I keep getting emails about what is due for class each week. I hope I don’t lose my attendance points for my classes because that would really suck. Especially because I’m the only one in the room!
The only place I’ve seen anyone at all is at the grocery store, and oh my goodness there were a lot of people there. They are always bitching about how the store doesn’t have any toilet paper or paper towels, but honestly, I’m not too worried about that.
The thing I’m worried about is the fact that I can’t get one single muffin; you have to buy a four-pack. Dude, I live by myself. I’m never gonna eat four muffins! If I buy four muffins, they’ll be stale by the next time I want a muffin. I just want one, single, chocolate chip muffin right now to have as a snack.
Also, I’ve been trying to go to TJ Maxx every day this week but they’ve been closed. What the hell am I going to do without TJ Maxx? That’s the real question. Why don’t they take all those damn people out of Wegmans and put them to work at TJ Maxx so I can go and smell a candle and buy some stuff I don’t need.
Seriously, what the hell is going on? Is there something I’m missing here?